22 March 2006

Scam Boatin Saga Part 2.

Originally uploaded by erueti_welly.
Any new readers to Eru's LifeCache are just in time to enjoy the second installment from the hugely popular "Scam Boatin Saga". Postings are freshly plucked from my recent 419 Adventures and feature the loveable and delightful character Samson Nana Boatin.
Anyone needing to be brought up to speed can always check back to my earlier post entitled "Scam Baiting and Scam Boatin Saga Part 1.".
Well friends. It's a long post so without any futher adue.
Here's Part 2.
Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2006 12:02:02 -0800 (PST) From: "erueti brown Subject: Re: More about me To: "nana_boatin boatin"
Hello to my friend Nana Samson Boatin. What do you prefer to be called?
Thank you again for your email. Seeing as you are a trustworthy person with a good heart and have told me your real name I shall do so also. My full name is Yura Polesmoker (Bulgarian desendants) a I am 42 and live with my mother in a very nice one bedroom apartment. I am not married yet or have any children though I very much love the children. I think about all the time they are so innocent and pure dont you think so? Like angels from our holy father on earth I like to think. If only we could be more trusting like the children/angels and the world would be a better place full of good hearted people. Do you think so too? I am looking forward to hearing from you again Nana Samson Boatin and building trust together so we can do gods good work here on earth for the little angels. God bless.

Yura Polesmoker xxx

There. I have decided on a name and a background but will he believe it all? Will he figure out my name is a direct poke at him? Not to mention my not so subtle secret code. I wonder what he is thinking about his new friend and partner Yura Polesmoker. Will he take me seriously enough to reply?

Date: Mon, 13 Mar 2006 23:29:39 -0800 (PST) From: "nana_boatin boatin
Subject: Lets Proceed To: "erueti brown"
Dear Partner,
Thanks for your mail How is your mother and I will want us to work together.
All I want you to do is give me your full contact details as I have requested in my first mail and again I do so now so that I can prepare the deal for commencement Full Name Physical address Occupation Age Phone fax email Country of origin Country of residence.

Regards Samson

LOL. I guess Samson believes it all. I don’t know if he understood anything from my last email, but at least he kindly asks after my mother which shows he read some of it.
Still pressing with the hard sell for my details – which I probably would have given him if I could settle on a good lie I could stick too. 4/10 for this email. I'd like more from him than these boring emails in the future. Lets see if Yura Polesmoker can open Samson up a little... stop snickering.

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2006 01:34:14 -0800 (PST) From: "erueti brown" Subject: Re: Lets Proceed To: "nana_boatin boatin"
Hello again Samson. I would like to give you my details because I can hardly sleep thinking about all the money you will give me. Wow, is this really real? I mean that really is alot of money by my standards. I want to be a good person but today I thought I could run awaywith that much money! But I have to think of all the good work I can do with it instead of just spending it on a new car. What will you do with your share of the money Samson? My Mother is so pleased that you have mentioned her and says thank you and god bless you for your good work and kind good heart. Please call me by my full name now that we are friends in business venture Yura Polesmoker. Maybe you could say hello to my mother and make her day Mr. Samson Boatin. Her full name is Ima Polesmoker and she is a beautiful lady. Im getting my details ready for you good my friend. I love you and god bless you and your family of angels. I have to leave now to give my mother a bath but we will talk soon okay? Cant wait to hear from you in goodtimes chum love.

Yura Polesmoker xxx

I've tried to change tact in my persona by showing a glint of greed and conflict between right and wrong while still remaining seemingly clueless. I still haven’t come up with any new details just yet and I am worried that by mentioning my mother so soon into the piece might scare him off. I’m trying to pack in more laughs-per-email so I hope he does start calling me by my full name. This would all be worth it for me if he says would just say hello to my Mum wouldn't it?

Alas. My last email didn't score me a reply. I'm pretty sure I've pushed it too far with Samson this time. Not giving him any details by now has probably has changed his image of me as a serious mark. Okay but I won't give up yet.
One last cast of the line to see if he’s lurking out there somewhere.

Date: Tue, 14 Mar 2006 16:38:34 -0800 (PST) From: "erueti brown" Subject: Re: Lets Proceed To: "erueti brown"
Hello Mr. Samson Boatin. I havent heard back from you. Iam worried You have forgotten about me and my Mother? I really hope not because you have been in our prayers because you are a good man to have met. I was thinking when this is all over I would like to pay for you to come and visit me face to face. Even including your lovely angel/children. Would you also like me to send you a current photograph of myself with of our national bird the "kiwi"? Please get back to me Mr. Samson Boatin and say hello to my mother Ima Polesmoker too and I will send you any information you might need to hurry this transaction my dear partner and trustworthy friend okay? God I love you and god bless you

Yura Polesmoker xxx

Are you there at all Mr. Samson Boatin? I’d really love to hear from you really I would.
I don’t wont to think it’s over. Come on Samson reply.

Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006 02:08:36 -0800 (PST) From: "nana_boatin boatin" Subject: Re: Lets Proceed To: "erueti brown"
You can send me your phototgraph yes but I want you to give me your details like I requested in the mail so that we can continue with the transaction

Yay! Receiving this email fills me with renewed inspiration Mr. Boatin! However you have changed haven’t you? He has changed hasn’t he? No more calling me partner. No more god bless you. No “how’s my mother” or “Hi Ima Polesmoker”. No even calling my by my full name like I asked you. Frankly I’m disappointed in Samson. When did this become all about you and your needs Samson? What’s to be done of this? 2/10 extra point awarded for at least replying.

Grrr fuck him. If he won't play its time to really start wasting his time by filling up his inbox and trying to piss him off in the progress!

Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006 11:49:52 -0800 (PST) From: "erueti brown" Subject: Re: Lets Proceed To: "nana_boatin boatin"
What is this Mr. Samson Boatin? Dont you want to do the business with me anymore? Your last email wasn’t very warm hearted and friendly like you used to be. You didnt even say hello to my mother Ima Polesmoke or call me by my full name Yura Polesmoke as I asked you to do earlier. Are you angry with me my good friend? Have you been putting in too many long hours at work I bet! Please don’t be grumpy with me my chum this will all work out for the both of us I know its in gods plan for us to be rich sipping martinis hand in hand in hammocks watching the sunset somewhere on a Tropical Island. Actually a Tropical Island probably isn’t you thing because Nigeria is very hot already isn’t it? Well hand in hand in the snow it is then! How are you for skiing you brute? Anyway now I have cheered you up you grumpy grumble boots we can commence business together with only good feelings for each other in our hearts. How soon after I give you my details will all the money be transferred? What do you need from me? I love you don’t get angry with me Mr. Samson Boatin good luck don’t work too hard and I look forward to hearing from you immediately.

God Bless you all my love trust with wings taking flight.

Yura Polesmoker xxx.

Now that'll change his tune. Surely he'd be more than happy to hear from his good partner and friend again wouldn't he? Maybe he'll buck up his ideas and start treating me in the manner I’ve become accustom too.
There will be no more of these cold succinct emails from Samson anymore. No, not if he wants to go on a holiday with me hand in hand that’s for sure!

But still no reply. That's no problem next email. This time no more mister nice Yura Polesmoker.

Date: Wed, 15 Mar 2006 14:55:25 -0800 (PST) From: "erueti brown" Subject: Mr. Boatin: URGENT MESSEGE FROM YURA POLESMOKER To: "nana_boatin boatin"
Hello Mr. Samson Boatin.
Since we have become comfortable with one another before we preceed I feel I must speak the mind and I am sorry and with heavy heart to say this. PLEASE DONT WASTE MY TIME! I have spent too much of my TIME trying to BUILD this BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP to let you and stuff this all up for me and Thoroughly COMPRIMISEng my INTRESTS in this TRANSACTION! Meaning, your I am wasting my time waiting to hear back from you when we both know this could be settled much much faster if you responded to my emails in more immediately. So whats happening? Are you working behind my backside with others to use me and CUT ME out of deal? Are you indeed big man? in charge of venture like you want me to believe or is there a bigger man in charge of YOU I should be DEALING with? If you are in charge I am beginning to wonder if can you handle such a big operation or if you are too junior? Be honest with me. Can we do this thing or not? Obviously the slow speed of this Transaction is worrying me. Will it take this long for me to get any of the monies you promised me? I hope not! Now if you are really serious about doing this then you had better get back to me prompty and tell me how things are going on your end before I lose faith and you lose not only A good frieNd but a good bUsineSs and liFe partner!!
I have stILL havE faith in you foR now Mr. Boatin. Try to remember you aren't just letting me down you are letting your whole country down with you. Think of all the goodwork we could be doing for the little children/angels.
Trying hard to love you right now.

Yura Polesmoker.

That’s got to do something. Now hopefully I’ve turned the tables round again and provoked Samson to jump back through some more hoops. Think he will notice the glaring code? Are you angry now Samson? I’ve had a lot of fun with you up until now Mr. Boatin. But to be honest if you don’t respond you’re a complete bore and I’ve out grown you anyway.

Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 03:07:10 -0800 (PST) From: "nana_boatin boatin"
Subject: GET SERIOUS To: "erueti brown"

That rattled the cage. Check out those angry caps. That’s the fighting spirit I was hoping to see! No spelling errors either I’m impressed! Who Da BIG MAN in charge! 9/10! Well done!
Huge mistake on my behalf though. I cant believe I didn’t read his first email properly before calling him a Nigerian! I’ve probably blown it all now if I don’t give him at least a little of what he’s been after. Still you think I'm going to let him get away with that?
I'll give you my details Samson. But not without my pound of flesh from you. So yes its more frustration ahead for Mr. Boatin with lots more goading from me your friend and all round superhero Yura Polesmoker.

Date: Thu, 16 Mar 2006 03:39:02 -0800 (PST) From: "erueti brown
Subject: Yura Polesmoker broken business heart To: "nana_boatin boatin"
Firstly. Samson never raise your voice like that to me ever again if you want to go on holiday with me either skiing or sunner I no matter the weather. I thought you were my good friend? Why did you add that last bit about not being a social worker? You already have my details and if you bothered to check you would know that? What exactly have you
done with them?
You better hope you haven’t lost them?I am trying to be a business man also just like you, dont you know it is rude to treat a client like you have treated me? Seeing as you are so unorganized Mr. Boatin, I will now have to send them to you again.
I would also like an explanation and an apology for you rudeness seeing as I have done everything you have asked from the start. Here are my details again.
Full name: Mr. Yura Polesmoker,
Address: Apt 4 19 Gloryhole Lane,
Occupation: Freelance Custom War Hammer/Bloodbowl figurine artist.
Date Of Birth: 09/11/1964
Email: yura_polesmoker@yahoo.com
Country of Origin: BULGARIA
Country of Rersidence: NEW ZEALAND

Get back to me immediately please. Crying business heart.

Yura Polesmoker.

Okay that concludes part 2. of the "Scam Boatin Saga".
I hope you are all looking forward to part 3.


By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

2 Jabber?:

he's gonna hunt you down man, and give you ALLLL that Money

Gr8 post dude your way funny