Are you Still Down with the SeaMonkeys?

MonkeySeaMonkey Do
Originally uploaded by erueti_welly.

You know, I'm 30 yrs old now, it's my birthday today and I'm still crazy about the fuckin' Sea Monkeys. Not those bullshit saving - up - al l- my - pocketmoney - for fucken' brineshrimp wft is this shit Sea Monkeys??!
No. Of course I mean Real Sea Monkeys.

I don't how many hours I must have spent staring dreamily into that perfect Underworld comicbook Utopia while pretending to eat those delicious cream filled Twinkie bars gernerally found on the opposite page mmmm... I've never actually tasted a Twinkie but I always dreamed they tasted as good as the drawings.
Are you feelin' me Dogg?
Try telling me as a child you never even just once in your imagining took the plunge into their watery Kingdom.
Well did you? I did. And all my friends both male and female did. And for some reason generations of children that have now grown into fully functioning adults in society would have drowned themselves in a bucket if you told them the Sea Monkey King had a present for them in it.
Sadly some of them are still in that bucket looking for the Sea Monkey King and Queen.
Some have just given up altogether while others prefer to take their chances believing in the existence Smurf Gold.
Yes. It's a crying shame the excitement their magical underwater realm promised to bring didn't last half as long as the disappointment felt once the spell had and lifted and drifted away.
Not unlike the singing of the Sirens. The call of the Sea Monkeys pulls all unwary innocents willingly down to the depths of their glittery castle only to leave them trapped alone in the cold shadowy sea bottom floor, unprepared without an air supply.
Why say all this then? Why stir up the murky past now?
Why I am I all dark on those lovable Sea Monkeys?
Do you think I think the Sea Monkeys owe us all an explanation for all that bullshit?
Perhaps should the Sea Monkeys be held accountable for their involvement in this slippery hoax? Not to mention their Nazi connection.
Of course not! We're adults now and none of us sensible responsible types believe in that kind of crap anymore! But. If anyone knows of anyone still left out there chasing SeaMonkeys dreams. Drop them this blog Id love to hear from them. And remind them they would be wise to bring their own Scuba gear (Right Glenn?)

Fuck those celebrity SeaMonkeys!

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By Erueti Brown with 2 comments