30 August 2006

Is Google God?

A convincing argument can be made stating that the search engine Google is the closest mankind has ever come to experiencing an actual Deity. It is the ultimate bridge between people and information.

Deities are typically described by their unique attributes such as being all-knowing, all-seeing, everywhere at once, the ability to answer prayers (search), being immortal, infinite, remembering all (Google cache) and of course Deities must "do no evil".
Google exhibits all of these characteristics perfectly. Google is certainly the closest thing human kind has to a true, real God.

Google is the great uniting force among contemporary religions of the present. Individuals of all religious background from around the world use Google on a daily basis. Muslims, Christians, Jews and even Scientologists use Google and Her mighty Algorithms in search of life's great mysteries. Google is common ground among the worlds major religions, bringing hope for religious peace.

Want more information on Googlism or interested in joining 'The Church of Google'? Link

By Erueti Brown with No comments

28 August 2006

The End Is Nigh Mayan?

Crackpot or Prophet Yisrayl Hawkins has a message and he wants you to 'Mark It On Your Bathroom Mirror'.
He is 100% certain and has convinced a growing army of followers that in a little over 2 weeks from now, on September 12, 2006 a nuclear war will erupt and one third of the total human population will perish.

Needless to say that's a pretty big scary claim to make, and a lot of people are gathering up their provisions and dusting off the bunkers in preparation for a nuclear Christmas.

Unrattled, I am already working on my 'I survived Sept 12 06' t-shirt, because it's utterly ridiculous and preposterous to think the world is actually going to end .... because everyone knows that's not scheduled to happen until December 21, 2012 around 11:11 (universal time).

By Erueti Brown with No comments

26 August 2006

Cheap is the new expensive, unless it's ridiculously expensive.

These two items piqued my interest probably because being born March 20th on the cusp of Pisces, I am apparently ruled by the feet and an unrealistic dreamer.

Stephon Xavier Marbury, NBA point guard for the New York Knicks, is guaranteed to shake things up both on and off the court with the release of his dope $15 (actually $14.98) Starbury Sneakers. Available only at Steve and Barry's stores in the NYC area, the altruistic slogan is "We created Starbury so you can stay fly and still stay on budget. It's about maximum for minimum expense." Finally, a shoe that tomorrow's NBA stars might actually be able to afford. Thumbs up! Link

On the other end of the spectrum, there are the Squillionaires.

Awhile back I baulked at the limited edition black diamond cellphone weighing in at $300,000. However since then, 'Goldvish' has become the new word for excess. Handmade from solid gold and encrusted with 120 carats worth of WS-1 grade diamonds. This cellphone currently tips the scale at $1.26 million. F--k! Link

By Erueti Brown with No comments

22 August 2006

Bathroom on the right,TCB.

I Used To Believe is a site which describes itself as a funny and bizarre collection of ideas that we adults thought were true about the world around us when we were children. Reading through the entries visitors have left will remind most of you of the odd stuff you took for granted as a child and reassure you that a lot of the things you used to believe weren't so strange (or uncommon) after all.

My rummage through the 'most common beliefs' section, led to the discovery that I am not the only person who heard "Bathroom on the right" in the lyrics of Credence Clear water Revival's song instead of "Bad Moon On The Rise". Finally resolved!

As a side note. Have you ever noticed whenever someone starts belting out Aretha Franklin's tune "Respect" they always go:

Find out what it means to me
...mumble mumble, mumble mumble...

Well if you are one of those mumblers, that last line of the chorus is "Take care, TCB" - which is an acronym for take/taking care of business.


By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

18 August 2006

Four hours shaving my Eru?

Am I being paranoid or is someone in my circle responsible for this?

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Viva la musica revolution!

So NZ finally got MTV hurray! But something tells me it won't be long before our small nation starts to wonder - "where the f--k did all these sexually promiscuous teenagers suddenly appear from?"

Here's what I think we have to look forward to once the MTV programming kicks in and quickly whips the youth culture into shape.
  • The highest incidence rate in the OECD of cervical cancer, syphilis and squealing Paris Hilton-esque 'like-oh-my-god' valley-girls.
  • Suicides amongst 14-17 yr old males who couldn't choose between pimping or starting up an edgy electro/clash band.
  • Self harming trustifarian Emo teens, blogging whining about how hard it is getting any good barbiturates they can overdose on in New Zealand schools .

By Erueti Brown with No comments

17 August 2006

Aw pleeease? All the popular 2.0 kids are doing it...

Before the current 2.0 bubble pops and reconnaissance reports from the bleeding edge force us to redesign it all over again in a wood theme, why not inject some swank into your blog with this sweet text to web 2.0 generator. (or migrate over

By the way, have you migrated to 'beta.blogger' yet? Awesome new features but not much use to me till they make a full html template editor available.

via [the generator blog]


By Erueti Brown with No comments

16 August 2006

Heads get flown.

You've really gotta give credit to Jenova Chen, Nicholas Clark and Austin Wintory for the all the effort they clearly put into churning out their fabulous flash game 'flow'.

It's f--ken awesome.

I'm a huge fan of any game with heart, originality and elegant thoughtful design. ('n', eyemaze's grow series and mono, are three beautiful examples that come to mind)
Therefore, I was taken with flow's simple, clean aesthetics and immediately hooked by it's slick and insanely addictive gameplay - which I hear draws it's inspiration from psychology professor Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Admittedly at first, it did take me a bit to sort out exactly what was going on - but what a richly rewarding experience it was chasing down and out-maneuvering other players once I finally did get dialed in.

Also there's an offline version (8.4mb) freely available for download too.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

14 August 2006

Ruckus never sleeps.

Like the Merry Pranksters from 'The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test', I feel called to shake things up a bit with a little mostly harmless 'freaking session'.
After adding my own personal touches to a document I happened to stumbleupon, this prank is now ready to go live. Feel free to disseminate or make modifications. Have fun!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

13 August 2006


First off I don't know a damn thing about product placement hierarchy or the subliminal manipulation tactics at play when herding shoppers through supermarket aisles, but I saw this sign recently and wondered how that must be going for them.

*Barely audible loudspeaker* "...ahem.. Good afternoon customers. If you are looking for our disposable nappy range, they have been moved and are now conviently located in aisle 5 between the spermicidal gels and pubic lice relief cream. Thank you for shopping with us..."

By Erueti Brown with No comments

12 August 2006

How eXistenZ is this?

It doesn't fire those cool bullets made from human teeth like in the movie, but I think director David Cronenberg would be proud. For obvious reasons (???) Dutch artist Joanneke Meester had an 8-inch-long piece of her skin surgically removed so she could use it to cover a gun-shaped plastic and fiber mold.
via neatorama, Link: jianneke meester

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

10 August 2006

Tall, Dark and Gluton Free.

I've done my stint managing cafes and being a barista, and more than smiling sincerely or engaging friendly eye contact and conversation - hospitality involves being a keen observer of people. More particularly, being an observant reader of the subtle yet incredibly complex behavioral patterns and trends exhibited by a group that makes up to 60-80% of anyones clientele/customer base - women.

And the two things I've learned if anything are these.
  1. Women who don't mind paying more than usual for a single wee morsel of well presented chocolate on their plate, must think that the only thing worse than being caught greedily scoffing something large and undainty into their gob, is being caught greedily scoffing something large and undainty into their gob when 'Mr. Right' walks through the door.

  2. Given the choice, I've found most men are not likely to say the following:

    Phil: "Hey Steve, I'm dying for a pint. How about we duck out for a bit and go down the road for a quick beer?"

    Steve: "Yeah maybe, or do you think we should spoil ourselves with a chai latte and split something small and decadent from that gorgeous little cafe we love around the corner?"

    Phil: "Oh you evil fat pig! Come on then slut, my treat".

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

09 August 2006

Fool, I know what time the eight o' clock train leaves the station...

I have an irrational morbid fear that one day I'm going to be confronted with a life or death situation and be lucky enough to emerge only to say something retarded redundant on live television.

Imagine some kind of tragedy has occured and there you are; center stage, perhaps in shock, maybe a little traumatised with a camera man and boom looming. We viewers at home are not expecting "I have a dream" from you, but please, for your own sake, at least consider the words you're about to push out of your mouth. Trust me.
On top of it all, you don't want to look like a dick on the news now do you?
No, of course you don't.
So do yourself a favour and try to remember this. If you are ever involved in a horrific catastrophe or emergency and/or when a newspaper reporter or anchor person approaches to question you about the incident, try to muster every last remaining ounce of your strength against babbling something obvious like this:
  • " ...He came running at me, with those crazy eyes, swinging that big kitchen knife... and I knew right then I had to do something..."
  • "... the plane's wing torn off and we plunged into an uncontrollable nose dive, and at that moment I remember thinking to myself, we're going to crash..."
  • "... he wasn't moving at all, the shark had clean bitten off his entire lower torso and I could tell if I didn't act quickly and get some medical attention, he wasn't going to make it..."
  • "...I immediately knew something was wrong when the bungy cord snapped..."
It's practically an inescapable everyday occurrence. I wait squirming through news segments whenever participants or onlookers are asked to describe what happened, because they always do it .

Now I know this might sound harsh, and I don't want to come off like an uncompassionate individual for mentioning it.
But y'know what?
If I was the reporter, it would be a struggle for me not to just lean over and clock 'em right in the mouth and say "Don't you know how f--ken stupid that sounded?".

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

08 August 2006

What do you see on the bottle?

A couple engaged in a bit of a 'hows your father' moment right? Well interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot distinguish this racy pair because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario. Innocently enough however what they do see are the nine playful dolphins in the picture.

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

07 August 2006

The Wilhelm scream.

If you have never heard of The Wilhelm scream, it's probably because like me you're not a sound designer or a movie cliche Aficionado either. But I promise, chances are good that just like me you'll suddenly start hearing it everywhere and enjoy a smug 'in the know' chuckle to yourself.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

06 August 2006

Hustle just Blowed.

Last night after countless recommendations from people who should know better and while not exactly feeling spoilt for choice at the video store, Sue and I finally buckled and watched director Craig Brewers Sundance Film Festival winning movie
'Hustle & Flow'.

Now I'm the first to admit that as an isolated colony here in the Outer Southern Antipodes, it's both part of our blessing and part of our curse that things tend to take their sweet time filtering down to us, and for that reason it's easy to feel out of touch with the happenings and goings on of the rest of the planet at large.
However even after a bit of googling to find some supportive views, Sue and I are beginning to question our sanity because, could we possibly be anymore alone?

Wasn't 'Hustle & Flow' a f--ken embarrassingly stupid joke?


By Erueti Brown with No comments

05 August 2006

"The Internet is a series of YOU's".

Net Neutrality traditionally means the neutrality of the basic Internet protocols with respect to the diverse ways in which they can be used. Network neutrality has become a highly contested area of law in the United States as a result of competition and merger and acquisition activity between telephone companies and digital cable operators, controversial statements by Telco officials, and several other factors.

Well f--k 'em and sign me up. We are the Internet and this sh-t has to stop.


There are several organizations who are taking action to 'save the Internet.' One of them is 'We Are The Web,' represented by some very well-known personalities: Leslie 'Sweater Girl' Hall, Peter Pan and Tron Guy. Stop by and visit their well crafted site and do your part by spreading the message.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

04 August 2006

Web 3.0 mea culpa.

Due to a stupid oversight on my part, I have only now noticed (to my horror) the flood of visitors being misdirected here from Listables 18 resources on Cool Web 3.0 Apps.

The issue is yet to be rectified, so sorry Listable visitors, my apologies and I'll say it again. I am a tool.
And I'll give the rest of you this piece of well learnt advice.

Don't make the mistake of submitting a stupid comment you'd rather not be held accountable for about a list, to the list or this will happen. (scroll down to no. 13)

By Erueti Brown with No comments

03 August 2006

Im A Modern Man.

Comedian George Carlin is a modern man (transcript) and his machine gun barrage of social commentary provides more proof that the Generation C phenomenon is not an age specific demographic trend that caters exclusively to a new niche generation of youngsters.
(via growabrain and vsocial)

By Erueti Brown with No comments

02 August 2006

Crap Camp.

Can you think of a place and time that you are ever more in touch with who you really are more than when you are on the crapper having a dump?
Maybe something worth contemplating the next time you're shaping a torpedo or baking brownies is that however brief or long the window in time, you are truly being you.
Not the you you present to the world, but the you when no one is watching and there's a bear in the cave you. No phoniness, no lies, no justifications.
No excuses.
Alone on the shitter you know that along with your underwear, it's also a safe place to drop all your flase pretenses, because it's not like you're trying to impress anybody in the toilet. It's fine and okay for you to just be yourself. It doesn't matter whether you are a folder or a scruncher because you accept yourself in your totality. Unconditionally and without judgement. Exactly as you are and exactly as you aren't.

So how about this idea for a business venture? Crap Camp. All it would take to setup would be hiring or building some porta-loos and placing them in some beautiful, peaceful, idyllic location where new-age self helpers looking for the answers that were inside themselves all along can retreat to... Imagine that? You could charge f--ken shit loads!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

01 August 2006

Depression is anger without the enthusiasm.

If jealousy is the knowledge of what you must do to obtain something someone else has, then envy must be knowing that regardless of what you do you will never obtain what they have ...

And I've got to laugh really.

A guy with nothing but a coloured paperclip wants a house and suddenly has the whole world is lining up to throw money at him, where as I offer a 'free toy truck for a caption' and get no attention what so ever. What's up with that?
Perhaps its all about being unreasonable? Do unreasonable demands yield unreasonable results?

Yes surely that must be it.

My name is Erueti Brown and I want to trade this Hot Wheels truck for a Helicopter Gunship ...

By Erueti Brown with No comments