30 June 2006

Get Your Canned Pork Brains in Milk Gravy On!

Wow, count me in. But remember before you reach for that second can, it's worth taking special note of the cholesterol rating. *The recommended daily intake (RDI) of Cholesterol is 300 mg.
(via neatorama)
Here's a sideline idea. What about pork bones and puha in a can? I'd buy one.


By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

29 June 2006

Space Ramp.

Recently I've been the cause of a number of heated arguments lately in the Yahoo Chat Science rooms. I've been flamed, booted, threatened, called an Idiot and a Troll and why?
Well it's because of a space ramp.
Now I've been aware of the brilliant space elevator project for some time, but I've been wondering for a number of years whether in theory a space ramp could be constructed that you could walk up, hop off it' at the end and into a near weightless orbit in outer-space. What if you had a little jet pack on, would that help you? Would the pull from the earths gravity still be just as strong as if you were still on the ground? Or would you, because of earths escape velocity, simply drop like a rock no matter how far the ramp extended into space? That in essence is my question I put forward to you.
I know it's got to be a very VERY big ramp I'm talking about here, the biggest object ever created by human hands and so naturally that presents us with some unique obstacles.
  • Materials: What to build a giant space ramp with. Key issues here are Strength, Weight, Cost and Labour.
  • Location: Where would you build this immense structure in the first place? It's quite possible that the foundations alone for a ramp on this kind of colossal scale might require an area the size of Eurasia or even larger. And unless there was a donor continent an artificial one might need to be created also.
  • Cost: How much would the big ramp cost? That should also include the obvious environmental costs. Depending the materials used, I imagine a giant space ramp reaching out into space would probably cast a significantly large shadow over the earth. (A lot like a sundial)
  • Physics: (which is where the heart of the argument lies) How far into space 200 miles? 4000? I don't know? Also the gradient of the ramp itself. Less angle means a gentler slope but of course that means more material, in fact more of everything.
So there are just some of the factors I've considered. I've also emailed a few 'experts' (NASA QUEST, Ask an Astrophysicist, ASK YAHOO and asked them their opinion on the matter.
I hope someone gets back with an answer a layperson such as myself can comprehend and accept. I'll keep you posted.


By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

28 June 2006

Are You a Redneck Fundy?

Small one today 'cos I am totally werked' over.
I recently stumbled over the 'Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian list'.
Some of my favourites ... (thanks craigslist)
  • You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
  • You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
  • While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
  • Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
Anyhows *yawn, I gotta haul this tired body tube of mine up the stairs and grab some kip.
Night night.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

27 June 2006

Home Star Running..Oh well...Last again.

Drat. Once again, after the meme-nappers have fed. I actually feel dumber for it, but I love HomeStarunner.
It's the sh-t!(Link)

Oooh, and mikons is 'double plus good' too.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

26 June 2006

Life in Beta.

Here are some more wonderfully inventive examples of just how very clever and evolved we are now that we have embedded our busy lives with all this much needed technology and associated paraphernalia. With your tech scarf or hoodie, you'll be looking so dapper, sleek and futuristic. Just imagine how streamlined you'll feel when some 'up-to-no-goodnik' kindly relieves you of your precious kit via a sharp blow about your unaware head.
(Link thanks WMMNA)

Here's another triumph for humanity.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

25 June 2006

Schrodinger's mouse trap.

A few months back we discovered we have mice living under our house and from time to time the occasional Aeon Flux type rodent somehow manages to bypass and allude the gambit that is our "Robotic laser, pressure sensor SOTA megamouse security system series IV (beta)".
Which sounds really flash but is really just a matter of making sure the hotwater cupboard door remains shut.

Which means that with the onset of winter and finding a mouse recently in our 'better mouse trap', (which seems to be the new standard for mouse dispatching) it's my 1st job in the morning to go downstairs and inspect said trap and either dispose of any unlucky vermin/and or reapply my winning combination bait, (6 mice thus far) which is a small square of colby cheese smeared with a liberal amount of marmite.

It occurred to me today as I was about to open the hot watercupboard door and thereby discover what lay behind it, that the situation was much like the famous paradoxical Schrodinger's cat thought experiment.
Until I open the door, assess the situation and thereby confirm a valid intelligent observation, behind the door a very messy quantum scenario is being played out for 'our mouse'.
Perhaps until the probability wave can be allowed to collaspe into a single state and spread out in all directions, the mouse, like the cat, is existing in a quantum state being both in the trap and not in the trap at the same instant. With that in mind I opened the hotwater cupboard door half expecting to catch the universe out and perhaps share in some great cosmic joke.

So what was it? Half live half dead mouse? Some kind of trap wormhole space vortex, or miniature elephants wearing sunglasses with butter on their feet?
No, sadly none of the above. No mouse either dead or alive. The trap was still exactly where I had set it 'suspiously undisturbed' (LOL) bait intact.

What presented itself was an outcome I hadn't anticipated.
A giant pile of mouse sh-it.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

24 June 2006

Someone 2.0

  • Someone needs to create an applet that does not allow a new visitor access to a Maori content site without an ePorwhiri.
  • Someone needs to design and synergise USB/WiFi sex toys with some sort of P2P network, for more organic meaningful cybersex.
  • Someone needs to patent a portable external womb, with an artificial umbilical cord, rejunvenating nutrient cell pack and double ended gene specific socket that, once fitted either parent could plug into.
  • Someone needs to create a nonlarm clock, for session specific designer sleep programs, utilizing self hypnosis, EEG brainwave modulation and personal affirmation.
  • Someone needed to comeup with something really fast for their daily post to 'Eru's LifeCache' today.

By Erueti Brown with 3 comments

23 June 2006

Ambergris: Floating Gold.

With our so called intelligent human minds tucked away safely inside our fleshy mammalian skin sacks, we consider ourselves to be the most sentient lifeform on the planet, and yet some of us 'smarties' are willing to pay large sums of moola for whale vomit.
Ambergris is both fascinating and lucrative with New Zealand waters and beaches ranked high amongst the top hotspots in the world for finding this elusive 'floating gold'.
With all the storms and swells recently, I'd feel more queasy than usual if I were a sperm whale, so I'm off fossicking. Imagine farming the stuff? (Link)


By Erueti Brown with No comments

22 June 2006

Mmmm...this coffee tastes like sh-t!

I can just imagine the chic hipster Java-heads in the village cooly lining up to pay an unbelievable $75 US dollars for a quarter pound of marsupial scat to knock back probably with a nice biscotti or florintine.

Here's a quick intro followed by a link if you're interested in learning more.

The Luwak (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus) denizen of the coffee (kopi) plantations of Java, Sumatra, and Sulawesi, eats only the ripest coffee cherries.

Unable to digest the coffee beans, the Luwak graciously deposits them on the jungle floor where they are eagerly collected by the locals.

The stomach acids and enzymatic action involved in this unique fermentation process produces the beans for the world’s rarest coffee beverage. Mmmm!


By Erueti Brown with No comments

21 June 2006

The Winter Solstice has arrived in New Zealand.

Brrr! It's currently 9 degrees Celsius (48 degrees Fahrenheit) outside, pitch black, with the howling wind and rain driving hard against my straining windows. But I'm happy. Because tonight at 00:26; the Sun is at its most Northerly point in the sky and at the middle of the day on June 22, it reaches its lowest altitude, from the Northern horizon. Making tonight dear readers, the longest night of the year, followed by the shortest day and we are inching our way back to Summer!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

20 June 2006

Solid Potato Salad.

I mean honestly, it's 1944, what the f--k is this? The 1st minute is nothing special but by the end you'll be wishing you had these grannys 7 d's.
(Grr recently pulled from YouTube, so thanks Metacafe)
*Update if you can't view the clip because of plugin problems try here from the horses mouth.


By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

19 June 2006

Save the Tree Octopus.

The Pacific Northwest tree octopus (Octopus paxarbolis) can be found in the temperate rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula on the west coast of North America. Their habitat lies on the Eastern side of the Olympic mountain range, adjacent to Hood Canal. These solitary cephalopods reach an average size (measured from arm-tip to mantle-tip,) of 30-33 cm. Unlike most other cephalopods, tree octopuses are amphibious, spending only their early life and the period of their mating season in their ancestral aquatic environment. Because of the moistness of the rainforests and specialized skin adaptations, they are able to keep from becoming desiccated for prolonged periods of time, but given the chance they would prefer resting in pooled water.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

18 June 2006

The Sounds of Silence.

Cell phones are a new technology for me. Embarrassingly I've (reluctantly) just brought my 1st one and I have to admit as far as cell phones go, it seems I'm in the slow lane right now.
Everywhere I look I see teens with customised bling cell faceplates, cameras/video snapping, p2p mp3 file sharing, mmprpg gaming and walkie talkie capability. These teens will never know a time before the existence of the internet and therefore are quick to embrace, absorb and find new applications in their lives for faster and better modes of communication.

It's no wonder then that the ultrasonic teenager repellent (or The Mosquito) - A high tech device that emits an oscillating ear-splitting 17-kilohertz frequency only teenagers can hear, originally designed to disperse young people loitering in front of their stores while leaving adults unaffected - Has been absorbed, hacked and remixed as a tool 'for' teenagers as a ringtone on their cells only they can hear, so they can receive text messaging and phones calls in class without any adult teacher being aware. Another example of bleeding edge technology and the insight of youth culture and the application of some pretty amazing lateral problem solving.
Gotta give 'em credit. (Link)

While I'm on the topic of new tech, you gotta see this video of the incredible I/O Brush it's totally amazing.


By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

17 June 2006

Exactly how far south does the no. 12 South Karori bus go?

Our bus ride home was crazy. 1stly the bus driver refused to stop at the bus stop to pick us up and only stopped because the lights changed red.
As luck would have it, we sat near the backdoor but Sue changed sides opting to sit in front of me instead of across and having to talk through people once it filled up.

The somewhat erratic bus driver was traveling faster than he should have been in the peak hour conditions and didn't seem to be in complete control of his vehicle as he weaved in and around other buses when !wham. He turned too sharply passed another bus and their side mirror came crashing through the side window of our bus, showering the two occupants of the seats we would have sat on in glass shards and leaving the lady closest to the window shimmering and glittering like she was about to accept an Oscar for the category 'best supporting actress in a bus accident'. Sue and I, as compassionate types, slapped a well deserved a high 5 thankful it wasn't us and then quickly asked the lady (who was definitely in shock) if she was hurt at all.
The bus driver, (perhaps not as compassionate) did not ask if anyone was hurt back there, and instead cooly ushered even more passengers on until the bus was completely packed with new passengers and glass everywhere.
Then, to the surprise of passengers wanting to get off at the next stop (which was most of the us), he just decided to drive the bus nonstop off it's route and when we finally stopped he barked at us to transfer to the bus in front. The ladies frosted in glass were never offered either an explanation, medical attention, an apology or even priority for the 1st seats on the transfer bus to at least lessen their discomfort (she told us that she felt like she had been dancing with PinkBats).
No they had to line up like the rest of us. Baaa!

I'm sure quite a number of passengers have complained about this situation, however I'm hoping to snaffle a photograph of him next time I see him and post it right here, wouldn't that be nice?


By Erueti Brown with No comments

16 June 2006

Untitled, or maybe, "Weird Aztec Sh-t".

So after my little spiel a few posts back, I guess we flaked out and buckled by upgrading our broadband plan this week.
I wouldn't recommend this link for anyone on dialup.
But yeah, the benditonontze flash animation is pretty f--ken weird sh-t.

Oh BTW you still lineup to suck old hobos and drink urine in an alleyway Teresa Gattung, I haven't forgotten about you. :-P


By Erueti Brown with No comments

15 June 2006

Dr. StrangePost or how I learned to stop worrying and learned to love the atomic blog.

Sometimes I, like most of people from time to time, find this whole blogging epidemic pandemic a grinding bitch.
I won't dwell on the point, but now that I'm working full time, I wonder how the 'great ones' out there constantly pull it out every day. That's dedication man. That's Stamina. That's madd as love for your peeps, and much like the greedy wank, (you know, the lazy one you bang out after the good one, when a whole new set of unseen porn galleries in your favourite genre suddenly appears), I'm inspired!

After a painful template redesign and several go-nowhere ideas, I've decided to settle for a simple enough goal and I'd like to make the following promise to any and all readers past current and future of 'Eru's LifeCache'.
I Erueti Brown, will henceforth endeavor to post something to 'Eru's LifeCache' (worthwhile or not) on a daily basis (probably evening NZ time so that's +12hrs for most of you).

So there you have it. See you tomorrow.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

12 June 2006


this is an audio post - click to play

I figure after a teasing you months back about the 'UrbanMovement' crew, it's finally time to drop some CapCity NZ hiphop on you all. For obvious reasons I make no apologies for sound quality, but if you like what your hearing, why not purchase a copy of their CD for yourself?


By Erueti Brown with No comments


this is an audio post - click to play

Another wee gem as the boys once again throw it down for the Well-ing-town.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

07 June 2006

PoMo life is Rubbish.

They're right though, this Post Modern life IS rubbish. I'm quite fond of "Ceci nest pas une intellectual" - But that's probably only because I'm such a tosser.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

Shame on you Telecom!

Shame shame know your name!

There's a Telecom Xtra Broadband advert playing in the background announcing the good news,
"Cheaper, faster broadband has finally arrived!"

What a load of saggy-old-lady-bitch-titties.

That's right Teresa Gattung, you suck.
I've got beef with you saying that I'm going to be paying less for faster broadband when you know damn well that's nothing but a sour floppy cock in the mouth.

After looking at how much we are paying for one lousy gigabyte at up to 50x faster than dialup, we thought we'd ring up and take advantage of your faster, cheaper offer. Turns out after talking with an Xtra operator the only broadband plans on offer are the same old pay more for more plans or the pay less for less. Let me explain that. We currently pay $39.95 for 1GB per month up to 50x faster. For $10 more we could experience 5GB per month @ 80x faster than dial-up. $10 less and we're on the 200MB per month @ up to 6x faster than dialup plan. 200mb for $29.95 at 6x WTF use is that? What a joke.
Sue outright questioned the Xtra operator, "So then.. There is no faster, cheaper Broadband?"
He scoffed and replied "Ahh...No."

Stop your lying Telecom or at least start telling the whole truth you toerags.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

06 June 2006

06/06/06 Am I 1st?

Seeing as New Zealand is technically one of the 1st countries to greet the new day, I'm hoping my keen effort to get up early will put me at least amongst in the first 100 people to post about todays most popular topic! I hope blogger timestamp for posting is set to my computer clock then I'll be pretty close to 06/06/06 and six seconds.

*update* Grrr, damn blogger clock was three minutes early.


By Erueti Brown with No comments

05 June 2006

Web 2.0 and Beyond.

Web 2.0. Love it or hate it, the buzz term is on fire and has become the unspoken compliance standard against which any website or company is judged when trying to look cutting edge or pioneering in their field.
But what is it and more importantly 'what good is any of it?'.
Clean neutral space column designed boxes with rounded edges, backgrounds with subtle
Pastel gradients applied, beta/gamma/delta testings are all very pretty, but big f--ken ti--ies right? What's the point at the end of the day?
Well ultimately, it's about three things Choice, Community and Content.
Everything is changing because we are choosing to change it. Through our experiences, our opinions and our social networks-it's our stories that truly dictate, govern and shape innovation. We don't require brands anymore, we self brand. We filter our own media and spam ourselves. For the 1st time in history absolutely anyone can have their 15 gigs of fame on a platform of their choosing. For once we decide what's important, because We are Generation C and we don't need you anymore.

The following products and services are a good example of what to keep an eye out for on the web 2.0 horizon and are plucked from the definitive 277 resources on 'Complete List of Web 2.0 Products and Services' available at listable.


A music engine based on a massive collection of Music Profiles. Each music profile belongs to one person, and describes their taste in music. Last.fm uses these music profiles to make personalized recommendations, match you up with people who like similar music, and generate custom radio stations for each person.

43 Things

You can write down your goals; See how're other achieved the similar goals; and you can share your experience and progress with other which you both want to do.

Picture Cloud

A picture cloud is the easiest way to make a photo come to life. By using a picture cloud you can turn still photos into images that spin 360° by uploading images you take around an object with your digital camera. Whether it's houses, cars, toys, or pets, picture clouds are easy to create and can be used anywhere. Picture clouds are helping give depth to the web, and best of all - picture clouds are free.


Popular URLS to the latest Web Buzz - very nice update site for all the usual Web 2.0 lovliness - ie digg, reddit, flickr etc etc etc

Karmadu allows you to give “karma points” as thanks for good things that others do for you in the real world. For example I can see how my karma score compares to others at school, to people who like the same movies, who live in the same area…anything you want. You can ‘jump on’ karma (vote for the best karma) and see which actions are the most karma-worthy. You can send points and check your profile over the web or by using text messaging from your cell phone. You can join by clicking “join” on the top menu.


What would happen if we no longer used things like looks, age, sex and nationality to decide if we would try and become friends with a person?

Protopage = personalized news + sticky notes + weather + bookmarks, all on one page.

Create your own free Protopage, then:

* Use it to catch up with news from hundreds of sources
* Put color coded sticky notes, todo lists and reminders on it
* Keep your frequently accessed bookmarks on it
* Name it (e.g. as www.protopage.com/yourname)
* Share parts of your page with friends, or keep it private
* Set it as your browser 'start page' for easy access

"Create a single web page filled with information and links that point to other web pages, to continually updated RSS feeds, or to relevant advertising."

*Special mention update.
After poking around looking for a way to add a chat service to Eru's LifeCache,
I stumbled over gabbly.com. Just type or paste http://gabbly.com/ before any URL and you
will be able to chat with anyone visiting that page at the same time.
Try it out here http://gabbly.com/


By Erueti Brown with No comments

04 June 2006

Yo' Gabba Gabba.

I don't know when the newest kid's show 'Yo Gabba Gabba' will actually air, but judging from the dope trailers and image galleries on their site it slays anything 'The Magic Roundabout' or 'Rainbow' came out with. With special guest appearances from Julius the monkey from Paul Frank Industries and Biz Markie I'm so jealous.


By Erueti Brown with No comments