10 August 2006

Tall, Dark and Gluton Free.

I've done my stint managing cafes and being a barista, and more than smiling sincerely or engaging friendly eye contact and conversation - hospitality involves being a keen observer of people. More particularly, being an observant reader of the subtle yet incredibly complex behavioral patterns and trends exhibited by a group that makes up to 60-80% of anyones clientele/customer base - women.

And the two things I've learned if anything are these.

  1. Women who don't mind paying more than usual for a single wee morsel of well presented chocolate on their plate, must think that the only thing worse than being caught greedily scoffing something large and undainty into their gob, is being caught greedily scoffing something large and undainty into their gob when 'Mr. Right' walks through the door.

  2. Given the choice, I've found most men are not likely to say the following:

    Phil: "Hey Steve, I'm dying for a pint. How about we duck out for a bit and go down the road for a quick beer?"

    Steve: "Yeah maybe, or do you think we should spoil ourselves with a chai latte and split something small and decadent from that gorgeous little cafe we love around the corner?"

    Phil: "Oh you evil fat pig! Come on then slut, my treat".

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

1 Jabber?:

Oh my... If I ever actually heard the convo in #2 uttered in real life, I would die of laughter.