14 April 2006

The Great Smurfspiracy.

"La Laa LaLa La Laa, La LaLa La Laaa...".

Small; blue, dopey white hat and to multiplied by 99?
Everyone remembers this 1980's cult phenomenon, and I'll wage that 98% of the any children living near a petrol station or grocery store at that time had a row of the little blue fella's on proud display in their bedroom or swapped them at school.
Do you remember how a new Smurf smelt? Intoxicating wasn't it? Kinda like an eraser too.
Did you ever use a Smurf foot, hat, nose or tail in the attempt to try rub something out. Did you chew on your Smurfs or we're you one of those cruel kid's that like melting them?
Good time's right? Smurfy times.

There are things you might not know about The Smurfs. Some frightening stuff indeed.
But first Let's start with some basic's.

  • The first appearance of a Smurf was in Pierre (Peyo) Culliford's comic story "Johan et Pirlouit" on the 23 of October 1958.
  • The Smurfs is 'Les Schtromphs' in French.
  • Strumpf means sock. A possible reference to the sock-like hat Smurfs wear.
  • After Peyo's death there were several albums published without his supervision including
    "Les Schtroumpfs noirs" - The Dark Smurfs - Which caused controversy because of it's implied racism.
  • Smurfette was originally a flawed tom boy like creation made from clay by Gargamel and it was Papa Smurf who made her beautiful after several days of 'plastic smurfery'.
  • In 2005, Unicef as part of their United Nations Children's Fund campaign, broadcasted a chilling graphic 25 second episode of the Smurfs, in which the Smurf Village is annihilated by warplanes. You can see 15 seconds of the Unicef Smurf Commercial over at Google Video.
Okay, so is that it? End of Story? Unfortunately not.

During my research for a previous post (80'sCache), I stumbled over many claims and citings of a hard hitting truth about these peaceful blue forest dwelling imps. Faced with too much evidence to wave off as mere nonsense, I can say my eye's have finally been opened to the Truth. The Smurfs are Red Commie Bastards.

Here are some examples plucked from Dave Morgan's revealing site "Smurf's Communist Leanings". I strongly recommend to anyone interested in this subject matter to visit Dave's site and read through his main archives.
  • The Smurfs shared everything. The food in the Smurf village was stored away in those mushrooms the minute it was harvested and then equally distributed to all the Smurfs throughout the year. No one "farmer Smurf" sold his crop to a "consumer Smurf," or saw his labor exploited by another. It was understood that the crop was for the entire Smurf population, not for the sale or profit of one Smurf alone.
  • There were those jobs each Smurf held. There was Handy Smurf, and Painter Smurf, and Brainy Smurf, etc... Each Smurf had his own specific job and was not allowed to try his hand at any other Smurf's assigned task. There actually was an episode where each Smurf tried to do another one's job, and failed. The moral of the story was apparently "Stick to what you do Best" or to put it another way, stick to what the society has chosen for you, or maybe just "You'll get what you get and like it!" Handy Smurf was always building. Painter Smurf was always painting. Everyone accepted what they were and didn't ask questions.
  • Papa Smurf wore a red cap. All the Smurfs were the same color and sang the same song everywhere they went - stressing their Smurfy unity.
  • If you remember, the only thing that Gargamel wanted the Smurfs for was for his own profit. In the first four or five seasons, Gargamel's master plan was to catch the Smurfs, boil them, and turn them into gold. For some reason, in the later years when the show was dying, they started saying that he wanted to eat the poor blue creatures, but for the most part he wanted to turn them into gold. He didn't care about the Smurfs themselves, their culture, or their well-being. All he cared about was getting gold. His only interest in how to get rich, and nothing, nothing would get in his way. Therefore Gargamel was a capitalist ...
Now of course this is just scratching the surface. But we are through the looking glass now people. The Great Smurfspirocy encompasses so much more than communism alone and while it's not likely to land you any points with the tassels, it's still well worth a Smurfy investigation.

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By Erueti Brown with No comments

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