Viva La Vulva!

Readers might remember a posting earlier this year titled "A glorious expression of a woman?" about The Wondrous Vulva Puppet. Well, as an update to that post I've found yet another versute vulviform simply called, "The Velvet Vulva".

To call these Velvet Vulvae, or "Velvet V" versatile is an vast understatement. Quoting directly from the official site: "More than a sumptuous Renaissance bag, the Velvet V represents in three-dimensional form the sacred portal to the feminine temple."

So well worth checking out and verily I say, much more than a meager vacation "Vag-Bag", the variegated Velvet V design provides volumes of Vulva shaped solutions for your often vexing every day needs.Also here's a little project for any of you creative types perhaps not so keen on parting with $US145-$350.

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

It's very dense, very gestalt...

Next time you find yourself without a ready response to the social tropes of some post-modern Mojito party or obscure Electroclash album release media junket - Drop this word in somewhere

Gestalt, (noun, pronounced 'Geshtalt') A physical, biological, psychological, or symbolic configuration or pattern of elements so unified as a whole that its properties cannot be derived from a simple summation of its parts.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

How many Bears?

Here's something a few of you may be surprised by.
How many bears in my photograph? That's the question I am putting to you.

If you think is the answer is simply 10, try looking closer and count again. If you still come up with ten it's probably because you don't yet know about a secret 11th bear hiding but in plain sight.

Where is this hidden bear? Can you see it? Don't worry if you can't, because most people don't know where the hidden bear in my photograph is either. But here's a clue: He's standing up.

Are you one of the few who knows where he is or are you about to give up and click on the link at the bottom of this post to find out?
>
>
>
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>.. Go on, look for him one more time before you do...
>
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The Secret hidden 11th bear is here and by the smile on his face I'm guessing he's happy you finally found him. How cool is that?

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

Finally, a product that does what it says it does.

I was cleaning the oven top the other day with a product called "Shotz Cream" when I noticed something curious on the elements.
Maybe it's just me but what does this look like to you?

By Erueti Brown with No comments

A Horse Is A Horse.. Helen Clark on Bebo?

It seems that Helen Clark, our New Zealand Prime Minister and one of the most powerful women in World Politics (tipped to be a future Secretary-General of the United Nations) is on bebo.

Now I'm not saying Helen looks like a horse or anything (even though she has taken us Maori for a ride) but I bet if someone strapped a horn to her forehead she'd bear an uncanny resemblance to a constipated unicorn. See...
...Speaking of constipated unicorns, our "Marsh-Mallow factory" threadless T-shirts arrived in the mail today and I couldn't be happier with them. I think the expression of the unicorn is very Helen-esque. Lovin' it!

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Earth Turds.

Long ago I came to accept that I am inflicted with an inquisitive weka nature(pdf); meaning I am attracted to bright shiny objects and easily captivated by the trappings of flashy marketing gimmicks. Naturally, possessing such a predilection is in parts both a blessing and a curse.

As an example: My 'My Little Cthulhu Vinyl Figure' above epitomises a shining moment or taste of the blessing, where-as these 'Earth-gems' below typify the most recent embodiment or sting of the stupid curse.

These so-called 'Earth-Gems', jewel of the Mighty Incan empire, taste like boiled radishes and are in fact nothing but multicoloured clumps of trendy hippy organic bullshit.

Fellow wekas, don't be taken in! These are not Earth-Gems.
These are fucking Earth Gems!

By Erueti Brown with 4 comments

FascinAsian #3 (and a whinge)

Perhaps something was lost in translation but I just couldn't resist adding this hilarious jewel to my shopping basket while in the Grocery|Spice Shop 'Moshims' located on Wilson Street in Newtown.

It's probably a good time to mention to anyone not familiar that Moshims' complete absence of good customer service is redeemed by their vast exotic variety.

*To the owners of Moshims: while I will continue to frequent your establishment, your often cold unhelpful customer service naturally leaves a lot to be desired. Every question about where to find a particular item seems to be followed by an almost scornful look and uninterested scripted response of "it's somewhere down near the back", of your cluttered somewhat confusing Smithsonian archive.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

The number of the day is Ten

Oh the memories. If I was still a rowdy up-to-no-goodnik, I'd soo be tilting a 40 and pwning a mad blunt for this old skool classic!



And, after decades of being shelved away in my subconscious I've found him ... the clumsy baker who falls down the stairs with all the deserts, makes his appearance right at the end of this clip - (voiced over by the man Jim Henson himself).

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Pownce Invites - I've got some to give away!

Kevin Rose's (founder of social-bookmarking site Digg) newest exciting app 'Pownce' launched today and guess which friendly neighbourhood Māori managed to acquire some brand spanking new invitations?

So what's Pownce?

It's a way to send 'stuff' (messages, files, links, and events) to your friends. You can share your stuff with all of them, just a few of them, or even just one person - really fast. Only the people you choose get to see what you send. Kind of like CC’ing an email, only recipients can see and respond to what you send. You can make public notes too that (you guessed it) the public at large can read and respond to as well. I noticed that some propeller head has Pownce up and running on Facebook, so expect to see an explosion or implosion of user generated social content over the next few days.

If you're wondering where your invite to join Pownce is, just leave your email in a comment, ( eg. john.smith(at)gmail.com, to fool those lousy spambots), below this post and I'll send you one out.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

The future will have no 'OFF' switches ...

There is little doubt left in my mind that in the future, we will be surrounded by an ever increasing number of 'ON' switches and a complete absence of 'OFF' switches.
That's right. No 'OFF' switches whatsoever. In fact, I think the very notion of 'not being on' will eventually become alien to the human condition and quietly fade into obsolescence, while simultaneously giving rise to a deeper more intuitive meaningful understanding of the function, 'On Standby'.

Of course, I don't imagine some wasteful ridiculous future where the lights are on twenty-four seven, rather I envision a future where the lights 'know' they are currently on zero luminescent 'standby' and are waiting to increase that value accordingly. I mean look at this crazy light switch for example, it's already happening, in fact it's been happening for some time.

A future where there is no 'Offline' to speak of. A future where everything is actively self organised, self powered, downloading, uploading and updating a constant user generated streaming feed of social network communicati.

In short. I think in the future, everything will always in some way, shape or form, be either 'ON', 'sub-ON' or simply ' currently inactive', but never in terms which you could best describe as 'OFF'.

What do you think?

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

More than the sum of its parts...

It's amazing just how quickly things can spiral out of hand and go from a simple creative idea to a simply stupid idea.

Here's where I admit I may have bitten off more than I can actually chew.

With one very supportive resourceful fiancée and my whole hearted passionate promises to deliver something truly astounding - Here I am now, for reasons I can no longer clearly remember, looking at what can only be described as 'quite the mother load cache' of keyboards...

I know. WTF right?

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

Ebony & Ivory?

I'm not exactly sure why I've been holding on to these pictures for so long. I rediscovered them yesterday while cleaning up some folders and thought what a great contrast of imagery, I might as well share them with any audience who may not have viewed them before I dump them forever.

The first photograph here has a detailed well documented history, but to cut a long story short - it was snapped in April 26, 1926 and depicts ... well a few 'good ole boys' out having a good time.

The second photograph even though more recent has proven harder for me to validate or find any information about other than ... a few more 'good ole bwoys' out having a good time.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

A glorious expression of a woman?

Crikey! Is that an albino Walrus?
How has something like this managed to escape my attention for so long? Until a few moments ago, I knew nothing about these handmade ' Wondrous Vulva Puppets'. I think they're magnificent and suddenly feel an overriding compulsion to acquire several. Actually I'm kidding. They're not cheap. Being priced somewhere between $US400-$US600 a pop, you can excuse the pun when I say,
F@#k that!

More than a mere provocative plushy or a pussy puppet plaything - (sorry couldn't stop myself) - The Wondrous Vulva Puppet serves as a great educational teaching aid, 'allowing a connection with the emotional and spiritual aspects of sex', 'rather than evoking embarrassment'.

Here's where you can find out more, and here's the link to 'The Original Wondrous Vulva Puppet Collection', where you can perhaps purchase a vulva puppet of your very own.

* I think this one should come with a cute topical creme or ointment accessory, because I'd be making an appointment for that ...

By Erueti Brown with 4 comments

Gettin' my Pointdexter on.

Sheesh, over the last 72 hours I've been pounding out the uber geek 2.0. Constant template upgrades, creating an Eru's LifeCache widgetbox blidget, RSS feeds, Twttering and joining the wonderful MyBlogLog community - to name a few.
That being said, I just had to step my nerd stats up even more by removing the circuit sheet from an otherwise perfectly operational gifted keyboard - Just so I could make a wallet.
Sure, there are a few design kinks left to iron out (such as clumsy duct taping and a giant paper clip to keep it closed for now) but on the whole, a cool idea and not too shabby for a first attempt I say.



* A comprehensive 'How to' construction plan for anyone keen to make their own can be found here via Instructables.

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

Something for the lil' General's war room perhaps?

What can I say? Like rubbernecking some horrible car crash, I'm ashamed and yet strangely fascinated by these highly intricate but garish Afghan 'War Rug' designs. Providing you could get it passed customs, I'm thinking fuck the welcome mat.
View the complete catalog here after the jump.

Afghan War rugs

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Something borrowed, Something Blue.

After a long uphill struggle, I've decided to embrace inevitable change and give up my coveted '3 column Minima black' template for good. Right now I'm shopping around for a fresh new look which for now at least, I think I've found in this Wordpress inspired theme. Expect to see more overhauling if you stop by through the week while I attempt to feel out an easy to customise WYSIWYG template that works. Cheers for bearing with me!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Stop It Girls!

Nothing sums up the decadent years of the 1980's more for me than those XL large type "Choose Life" Wham T-shirts (or those Frankie Goes to Hollywood "Relax Don't Do it" XL tees too for that matter) and this video - Duran Duran's "Girls on Film" 6:25 mins - The uncensored version. NSFW.
Quite the lengthy intro for back in the day at 1:39, it's still one of my all time favourite tunes -

Weren't they a pack of saucy rudies!

Update Thurs 07/06: Well how very odd indeed that you tube pulled the video after it being up for well over a year? Just a coincidence with my posting? I think not!

Update Tues 12/06: Aha! Found again here at good ol' dirty Daily Motion.

Duran Duran - Girls On Film [Uncensored]
Uploaded by hushhush112

By Erueti Brown with No comments

How to make an Army men bowl

Way back in July of 2006 I posted about "How to make a hipster record bowl". Well after looking around for ideas and better tutorials I've decided it's time to post my new closely guarded secret of "How to make an Army men bowl".

• Firstly recruitment. You may be lucky enough to have a large platoon of vintage Army men collecting dust somewhere, which is great because it is my belief that they just don't make Army Men from good plastics anymore. In any case you need quite a few depending of the size of bowl you plan to make and the only kind I could find here in any great number are called "Super Solider". I picked up 3 boxes each containing around 200 little newly drafted guys for $3.99 NZD a box. Not bad.
  

• Next it's a good idea to find a suitable vessel/bowl that you can safely place inside the oven without freaking out if it all turns into a horrid toxic mess. *Tip no. 1. Take it from me. Save yourself lots of hassle, justification and just plain weird looks by not using any sentimental frying pans gifted to you from your Fiances parents to melt plastic toy soldiers in the oven ... but you know? On second thought, It's your call.
  

• Preheat your oven to 150 degrees/300 Fahrenheit fan bake.
  

• Once you have pulled these resources together you are almost there, but not before what might turnout to be the most frustrating part of the entire operation. Laying out the units. You need to carefully and intentionally cover the entire base (in my case a large metal mixing bowl) with men until you can start to building up and around the curvature of the bowl - But be careful sometimes lazy or bad placement of the men in unstable areas can create tumbling avalanches which will have you pulling your hair out and starting all over again, or worse giving up altogether.
  

• Now once you have an aesthetically pleasing amount arranged in the bowl, (I like to build it up to the rim the whole way away around). Place your bowl carefully into the preheated oven for around 15 minutes on 150 degrees/300 Fahrenheit fan bake to evenly soften them up. Then turn up the temperature to 180C/350F, cut the fan and bake for a further 10 minutes or until you are happy will the fusing and melting. Be sure to keep a close eye on whats happening because things can change really fast. *Tip no.2 Remember, melting plastic creates a highly dangerous mix of toxic fumes (as my now Teflon lungs will testify too) so always cover your mouth and have access to good ventilation when doing this. Let me stress this point once more. This is no joke, you can kill yourself!
  

• With an oven cloth, remove from oven and let stand, I always take it outside and leave it on the lawn to cool. As it cools the army men should start to harden and in the process start to pull themselves away from the bowl. Give it some time, you can hear it cracking as it pops away from the surface. After 10 or so minutes of cooling you should be able to gently work and pull the bowl out and admire the fruit of your efforts. You may have to bend the bowl to pop any stubborn Army Men not completely free. Be prepared to lose a few good men that haven't fused properly or have broken off while removing, don't fret too much though, they all knew what the risks were when they signed up.
  

And there you have it! Good luck Id love to see any finished bowls or any tips you may have gathered along the way. If you have any questions I might be able to help you with, feel free to ask. At Ease Soldier!

By Erueti Brown with 4 comments

Your ticket to getting Lost.

Not to be confused with the television series or spin off game - Lost is a great creative idea for an invite only game currently blurring the boundary between the Internet and the real world.

The objective of Lost is simple enough: Get one point before your timer runs out or you are eliminated. Each time you gain a point your timer resets - if it reaches zero, you're out!

I wont go into explaining everything here, but if like me you're looking for any excuse to embrace creativity and original game play, then Lost is for you and here's your invite to all the fun!

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

FascinAsian # 313.

I love specialty Asian grocers.
Here are two items I recently discovered during a recent Saturday amble through the highly interesting and equally well priced aisles of the Asian grocer across from Pak'n'Save in Kilbirnie. Certainly well worth checking out if you ever find yourself out that way.



Naturally, I'm holding onto the "Bird's nest drink with flavoured artificial white fungus" for a suitable occasion should one arise.

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

It's not rocket surgery ...

Well obviously a considerable length of time has elapsed since I have been able to post any new updates to the blog - but to any of you who know me - All those allegations were proven to be 100% unfounded and may I also mention that the old adage "No body no crime" still applies in almost 60% of New Zealand criminal law cases resulting in an acquittal ...

And so with my new found freedom, let me kick things off a fresh with a little inspired project I have just finished working on and that I am quietly quite chuffed with ... if I don't say so myself.

Any person who has spent any reasonable time around me eventually realises I can be an embarrassing epic loser, and not only socially. Wallets, hats, keys and what must amount t0 several thousands of dollars by now - have all once been in my sole possession only to almost instantaneously end up fuck knows where?

Over time, I've found I tend to lose all the important stuff in my life while hoarding every worthless gimmick and piece of crap *Glenn/Sue: insert broken light box here - so from my POV it was only a matter of time before I finally married these two items together.

LEGO and keys.

Firstly if you have a cache of LEGO find some candidates you don't mind sacrificing for the greater good. Something simple like 2 or more bricks of different colours and something they can snap onto worked well for me, but I imagine LEGO being LEGO, the possibilities are endless.

The next part had me hunting around the house looking for any appropriate item I could use until I realised I could liberate the eyelet screws from behind one of our paintings hanging in the lounge. Once again more sacrificing for the greater good.

Next, I drilled a small starter hole into each LEGO so that I could work the eyelet screws firmly into the bricks. Once that was done I threaded two chains through the eyelets and attached the keys.

Lastly all that was left was to attach the LEGO base to the wall and Voila! And all done in under 10 minutes!

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment