Fool, I know what time the eight o' clock train leaves the station...

I have an irrational morbid fear that one day I'm going to be confronted with a life or death situation and be lucky enough to emerge only to say something retarded redundant on live television.

Imagine some kind of tragedy has occured and there you are; center stage, perhaps in shock, maybe a little traumatised with a camera man and boom looming. We viewers at home are not expecting "I have a dream" from you, but please, for your own sake, at least consider the words you're about to push out of your mouth. Trust me.
On top of it all, you don't want to look like a dick on the news now do you?
No, of course you don't.
So do yourself a favour and try to remember this. If you are ever involved in a horrific catastrophe or emergency and/or when a newspaper reporter or anchor person approaches to question you about the incident, try to muster every last remaining ounce of your strength against babbling something obvious like this:

• " ...He came running at me, with those crazy eyes, swinging that big kitchen knife... and I knew right then I had to do something..."
• "... the plane's wing torn off and we plunged into an uncontrollable nose dive, and at that moment I remember thinking to myself, we're going to crash..."
• "... he wasn't moving at all, the shark had clean bitten off his entire lower torso and I could tell if I didn't act quickly and get some medical attention, he wasn't going to make it..."
• "...I immediately knew something was wrong when the bungy cord snapped..."

It's practically an inescapable everyday occurrence. I wait squirming through news segments whenever participants or onlookers are asked to describe what happened, because they always do it .

Now I know this might sound harsh, and I don't want to come off like an uncompassionate individual for mentioning it.
But y'know what?
If I was the reporter, it would be a struggle for me not to just lean over and clock 'em right in the mouth and say "Don't you know how f--ken stupid that sounded?".

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

What do you see on the bottle?

A couple engaged in a bit of a 'hows your father' moment right? Well interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot distinguish this racy pair because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario. Innocently enough however what they do see are the nine playful dolphins in the picture.

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

The Wilhelm scream.

If you have never heard of The Wilhelm scream, it's probably because like me you're not a sound designer or a movie cliche Aficionado either. But I promise, chances are good that just like me you'll suddenly start hearing it everywhere and enjoy a smug 'in the know' chuckle to yourself.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Hustle just Blowed.

Last night after countless recommendations from people who should know better and while not exactly feeling spoilt for choice at the video store, Sue and I finally buckled and watched director Craig Brewers Sundance Film Festival winning movie
'Hustle & Flow'.

Now I'm the first to admit that as an isolated colony here in the Outer Southern Antipodes, it's both part of our blessing and part of our curse that things tend to take their sweet time filtering down to us, and for that reason it's easy to feel out of touch with the happenings and goings on of the rest of the planet at large.
However even after a bit of googling to find some supportive views, Sue and I are beginning to question our sanity because, could we possibly be anymore alone?

Wasn't 'Hustle & Flow' a f--ken embarrassingly stupid joke?

[Technorati][Hustle and Flow],[Movie Review]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

"The Internet is a series of YOU's".

Net Neutrality traditionally means the neutrality of the basic Internet protocols with respect to the diverse ways in which they can be used. Network neutrality has become a highly contested area of law in the United States as a result of competition and merger and acquisition activity between telephone companies and digital cable operators, controversial statements by Telco officials, and several other factors.

Well f--k 'em and sign me up. We are the Internet and this sh-t has to stop.

How?

There are several organizations who are taking action to 'save the Internet.' One of them is 'We Are The Web,' represented by some very well-known personalities: Leslie 'Sweater Girl' Hall, Peter Pan and Tron Guy. Stop by and visit their well crafted site and do your part by spreading the message.

[Technorati][Net Neutrality],[We are the Web]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Web 3.0 mea culpa.

Due to a stupid oversight on my part, I have only now noticed (to my horror) the flood of visitors being misdirected here from Listables 18 resources on Cool Web 3.0 Apps.

The issue is yet to be rectified, so sorry Listable visitors, my apologies and I'll say it again. I am a tool.
And I'll give the rest of you this piece of well learnt advice.

Don't make the mistake of submitting a stupid comment you'd rather not be held accountable for about a list, to the list or this will happen. (scroll down to no. 13)

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Im A Modern Man.

Comedian George Carlin is a modern man (transcript) and his machine gun barrage of social commentary provides more proof that the Generation C phenomenon is not an age specific demographic trend that caters exclusively to a new niche generation of youngsters.
(via growabrain and vsocial)

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Crap Camp.

Can you think of a place and time that you are ever more in touch with who you really are more than when you are on the crapper having a dump?
Maybe something worth contemplating the next time you're shaping a torpedo or baking brownies is that however brief or long the window in time, you are truly being you.
Not the you you present to the world, but the you when no one is watching and there's a bear in the cave you. No phoniness, no lies, no justifications.
No excuses.
Alone on the shitter you know that along with your underwear, it's also a safe place to drop all your flase pretenses, because it's not like you're trying to impress anybody in the toilet. It's fine and okay for you to just be yourself. It doesn't matter whether you are a folder or a scruncher because you accept yourself in your totality. Unconditionally and without judgement. Exactly as you are and exactly as you aren't.

So how about this idea for a business venture? Crap Camp. All it would take to setup would be hiring or building some porta-loos and placing them in some beautiful, peaceful, idyllic location where new-age self helpers looking for the answers that were inside themselves all along can retreat to... Imagine that? You could charge f--ken shit loads!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Depression is anger without the enthusiasm.

If jealousy is the knowledge of what you must do to obtain something someone else has, then envy must be knowing that regardless of what you do you will never obtain what they have ...

And I've got to laugh really.

A guy with nothing but a coloured paperclip wants a house and suddenly has the whole world is lining up to throw money at him, where as I offer a 'free toy truck for a caption' and get no attention what so ever. What's up with that?
Perhaps its all about being unreasonable? Do unreasonable demands yield unreasonable results?

Yes surely that must be it.

My name is Erueti Brown and I want to trade this Hot Wheels truck for a Helicopter Gunship ...

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Why did the blogger cross the road?

Last week I posted about our odd experience at the halal butchery. Inspired, I just had to go back and have a wee dabble. I've taken a photo of the item in question, which will also be featuring as the main ingredient for our dinner tonight.

You tell me, does this (frozen) honestly look like any chicken (thawed) you've seen before?

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Out and about: Sunday web driving.

I'm a little pressed for time so here's a small link dump of a few things that have piqued my interest over the weekend.

The Live Beluga webcam in Vancouver, Canada isn't interactive but those cute little guys antics are still very engaging.

Those of you feeling trapped and locked into your cellphone contracts finally have Cellswapper.
A very easy to use site for those of you looking to opt out of your cellphone contract or those looking to get a new plan with no activation fee, a free phone or short term contract.
Speaking of, have you seen the ridiculous limited edition 'Black Diamond' cellphone designed by Singaporean designer Jaren Goh? Get your order in now because it's due for an early spring release in the '07 and it's only $300,000.

Flickrites and all round shutterbugs should take note of the crew at Photojojo who claim to find only the most kick-ass photo tips, DIY projects. And indeed they have. Turn your photo into a mural at home in 5 minutes, print your friends' faces onto cupcakes, or get a bottlecap that turns any soda bottle into a tripod...

Eye gazing parties vs. Speed dating? Eye gazing everytime.

Finally. Be irrepressible.
If you believe in freedom of expression, and in the power of the internet, then I invite you to join in the Imnesty International campaign by adding a small amount of code to your blog template.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

So very You.

A lot of this week has been spent skurfing loads of great crazy japanese programmes via YouTube. Deep Props has to go out to these guys for the service they provide. Being free, God knows how they're managing to keep it all rolling while making any money out of it. Bandwidth costs alone are apparently running in excess of $1 million US dollars/per month and climbing.

So cheers guys and while it's all still good, above is a short clip (25 seconds) of what a very spooked and freaked out owl looks like.

Also currently ranking high amongst my favourite japanese shows is "Silent Library"(09:45) hosted by kickboxer and four-time world K-1 champion Ernesto Frits Hoost, it's fairly Katamari Damacy for WTF craziness levels.

Finally.
What do you think? Did Pink Floyd infact synchronize 'Dark side of the moon' to 'The Wizard of Oz'? Judge for yourself - long video though (43 mins).

By Erueti Brown with No comments

How to make a hipster record bowl.

I love collecting vinyl and like any good collection I have quite a few crappy ones/double ups and down right stupid purchases
( ie Duran Duran-Hungry like the wolf.)
So seeing as theres a weekend coming up and if you're feeling crafty, here's a quick little project that is kinda kitsch, but if you have a coloured 12' instead of the black 45' I've shown in the example you'll be thinking is also kinda dope.
Obviously your going to need to find yourself a record, as wasteful as this sounds I've found new ones yield the best results.

1. Heat oven to 100C/212F.
2. Place record over a suitable oven safe bowl and place into the oven on the lowest shelf for 30 seconds.
3. Gentlely press down in the center of the record, the record should bend easily and you should be able to shape it slightly, but be mindful of your hands because that sucka will be hot mama!
4. Leave the hot record somewhere safe to cool and harden and voila!

Also (but not necessary) I think it adds to the bowls functionality to apply a couple of coats of clear epoxy resin (Or failing that a clear nail polish).
That way it doesn't scratch up when you throw things like keys in them and you can fill in the hole in the middle and maybe use it as a cereal bowl?
Have fun!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Oooh yeah..Sweet Design Porn.

How uber-deck must the guys and gal's over at 'atypyk' be?
Call me a trendfollowing materialistic consumer design whore if you'd like, but I am totally infactuated with their tight and often hilarious product line.
I mean, look at these products below and check out their site, then try telling me you don't desperately need something from them now too.


Clumsy Coaster

Piggy Bank Jigsaw

Time is money clock

Fifty duvet cover

One short coming with atypyk is a lot of their stuff is so brilliantly 'why-didn't-I-think-of-that?' simple, that it actually inspires you to steal their idea and attempt to fashion something similar at home.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

London Calling?

Maybe it's all the sweltering brain-poaching heat they've been experiencing lately, but travellers heading to the UK should be warned there is strangeness afoot in London.

Street Wars

Londoners have begun a city-wide role-playing game where people roam the capital to shoot each other with water pistols against police cautions that contestants might be committing criminal offences.
"StreetWars" has already taken place in New York, Vancouver, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Vienna, and on their website, tournament organisers describe it as: "A three week long, 24/7, watergun assassination tournament."

As part of the game, participants are handed a manila envelope containing the details of their "target", including their name, home and work addresses, along with a picture, and are assigned with the task of "assassinating" them with a watergun. Upon being "killed", the person who has just been eliminated from the game hands details of their target to the successful "assassin".
The last person left standing after three weeks is declared the winner, and is given a cash prize which is usually around 500 dollars (395 euros), according to the tournament website.

Players are encouraged to track down their target in any way they see fit, with suggestions including posing as a delivery person, or putting on a disguise to fire on the target on the street. (Link)

It should also be noted that at this very moment, two other capitals are involved in a more intense variation of this tournament, which simply involves replacing the waterguns guns with missles and where players earn extra points for blindly killing any innocent civilians ...

Hmm? This just has warm gooey trouble dribbling all over it.

Masturbate-a-thon

Yes that's right a Masturbate-a-thon.
A public Masturbate-a-thon, the first ever to be held in Europe, takes place in Clerkenwell, London on 5 August 2006 The event begins at 2:00 p.m. on August 5, 2006, and continues until 10:00 p.m. There will be three communal areas—mixed, men=only, and women only—but each of these will have screened areas for private masturbators. Masturbators ask friends, colleagues and loved ones to sponsor them to raise money for AIDS charities, in order to take part.
The amount raised is determined by how many minutes participants take to masturbate and / or the number of orgasms they achieve. You can also get sponsored simply for having the “courage” to turn up and participate. (Link) + an interview with organiser Tony Kerridge that should help to mop up any further questions via Vice.)

By Erueti Brown with No comments

How Much Wood Would a Woodchuck Chuck if a Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood?

Of course it has yet to be conclusively proven but I feel that it is reasonably safe to assume the answer to this famous tongue twister is pretty close to f--k all zero.

Contrary to popular belief, Woodchucks (or ground hogs) aren't particularly keen on wood at all, and while they can easily scale a tree to find a meal, they'd prefer a safe quiet existence scurrying about close to terra-firma.

The name Woodchuck comes from the Cree Indian name "wuchak", and these rodents are closely related to squirrels, marmots, and prairie dogs, with which they share an affinity for burrowing.

In actuality, a burrowing woodchuck can chuck dirt, in the form of tunnels that can reach five feet deep and as much as 35 feet in length. So, based on that number, New York State wildlife expert Richard Thomas calculated that if a woodchuck could chuck wood, he could chuck as much as 700 pounds of the stuff!
(Cheers neatorama/mental floss and of course the Kermit Airgun club for the target!)

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Eclectic Eccentric Entropy.

Pro-noi-a.
n.

The opposite of paranoia, pronoia is defined as the sneaking suspicion that the whole world is secretly conspiring to shower you with blessings.

I realise now that the above picture I took, while filled to the brim with crazy items and worth a good close look, doesn't have much if any obvious relevance to this posting - but that's just because you cant see them all conspiring ...

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Smack my kids up?

As a minister of the clergy myself, I'm completely behind a persons right to choose their own religon and their freedom to express and exercise their personal beliefs.
How ever surely you know you're going to be rightly labelled as a redneck fundamentalist christian parent if you subscribe to any of the absurd draconian measures recommended by the 'Guide to smacking' from The Family Integrity booklet?

After reading the articles currently making the rounds here in NZ and abroad (I think MiFi linked an article), I am honestly suprised 'blood letting' wasn't also included in the controversial eight-page booklet on how to use physical punishment under the present law.

These guys seriously need to get dialed into some clues.
Reverend Eru says: Being awake requires more effort than just walking around with both your eyes open.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Flatlife.

Jonas Geirnaert graduation project "FLATLIFE" (2004), selected for Short Films in Competition at the Cannes Film Festival 2004. Mostly just an excuse to try Google Videos 'send to blog option' I've just noticed sitting in the side bar. That's pretty cool.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

When is redmeat not redmeat? When it's chicken.

We had a dubious encounter today at the halal butcher shop we frequent that's had me scratching my head. Readers of my earlier post would recall I already think quite a bit about this subject and it's probably nothing but what would you think?

Sue reached into the freezer and pulled out what she thought was lamb mince mislabelled as chicken mince because, (a picture here would have been really great I know) it was red and looked just like lamb mince or failing that possibly beef or ugh um..goat?

When she asked whether it was lamb or beef the counter person was confident and assured us its contents contained 100 % chicken thigh mince. Now, I'm no food technician or Muslim for that matter, but isn't chicken white meat? Of course under cooked chicken will always be pink and bleed red but this was frozen and I thought the halal ritual (similar to kosher) included bleeding the animal doesn't it?

Certainly dodgy and one that should be filed under 'things that make you go hmm?' wouldn't you say?

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Awesome Caption Swag Giveaway.

The last couple of weeks have proved to be pretty average and lack luster round here and I apologise for the poor quality of content in my contributions to the blog (maybe the 1% rule also applies to things worth posting to your blog?)

So how about this blogs first giveaway? Actually, technically it's this blogs second giveaway but as yet no one has reponded to that giveaway either.

However, I will award this fantasticly crappy prize below...
(even crappier in person, but I think that adds to it's overall charm and 'sentimental blogger' value)


x1 Die cast, 1940 Ford Drag Truck 1/64 scale Hot Wheels truck.
... and post it (at my expense) to the person who comes up with the best caption for this image...


Huughhgh... I need a caption like I need a dick!

So if you're at all interested and would like to take this crappy truck off my hands be in with a chance to win, just put your thinking cap on (I'll allow photoshopping etc for the truly hearty bunch) and either drop either a comment in this post or email me at freetruck@whythefucknot.com with 'Awesome Caption Swag Giveaway.' in the subject line before say ... 9pm( NZ time), July 31, 2006 and I'll annouce the winner on the 1st of August.
It's just that easy.

Great, good luck I'm off to go brrrrrr'ming round the house one last time with my truck.

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

xkcd.

A wee while ago, I caught wind of this great webcomic, xkcd, and I keep forgetting to make a post on it before the memestream also catch the vapors and it churns it's way into the .old category.

xkcd rather aptly describes itself as "a webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language." While at times the humour can seem somewhat incrowd chic geek, I found most of the strips greatly amusing and admittedly I was still there after my first hour skurfing the archive. Enjoy.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

"Greetings 8-bit Over Lords."

If you too are excited and obsessed by the inevitable invasion of your city by the 'space invaders', you'll probably be into this impressive piece of stop-motion animation I've recently stumbled over.
It must have taken some keen organisation to pull this off and should serve as a reminder of the zen saying. The more things change, the more things stay the same.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Random idea #17.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Random idea #355.

I am neither a Trekkie, Nasa Space Buff or active S.E.T.I. enthusiast - but there are some ideas about our place in this universe that have been making the rounds in the neural pathways that make up the network that is my brain ...

Imagine for one moment somewhere out there is a highly developed alien civilization existing one billion light years from earth. Now let's say for curiosities sake, this alien race is searching for any sentient life forms in the universe and is so technologically advanced they have in their possession a powerful telescope that could enable them to easily gaze over the surface of a given planet and deduce whether or not it was inhabited by any suitable candidacy.

Given our coordinates, I wonder whether they would see any tell-tale signs at all of complex organised intelligence. I highly doubt they would see any of our collective cultures greatest achievements, like 'The Great Wall of China' the 'The Nasca Lines' the 'Pyramids' etc (and providing they were advanced enough to see-through the walls of my house) I don't think they would be able to see me typing these words right now.

No. It is my belief and therefore conclusion that because of the great distances involved and the time it would take for the light from our planet to reach them, they wouldn't see our planet in any 'Real time' sense relative to 'our' existence.
Any alien observers would in fact merely see our world as it existed one billion years ago, which is a shame because depending on whether you actually believe it or not, the most complicated life forms around at that time were a couple of large colonies of algae ... To Be continued.

In any case, this half baked, half pieced together idea is a work in progress and a window into some of the processes that have been going on in my upstairs dept.
I may come back to this later and either refine or scrap it altogether.
Any and all comments and/or insights are of course always welcomed.
BTW my regular readers may have noticed that despite my best efforts I missed yesterdays daily post. Whoops.

[Technorati][Ideas],[Sentient Lifeforms],[1 Billion Light Years]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

This post bangs out loud to the members of the deep rolling Quest set.
A reaction to the winter blues probably was right, but Friday was the end of it and just like that I'm out like super tapered stone washed jeans.

Cheers, you guys are down like clowns and if you're ever keen to join me for a non caffeinated beverage sometime, it's my buy.

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

Too Much Coffee Man?

I am prepared to admit it.
I might have a bit of a drinking problem.
I am a Caffiend. But at least for now, I am a functioning Caffiend.

I get up around 5:45am and start up with a fresh glass of 'V8' fruit juice and a Berocca tablet. Then I try to get into the gallery just before 7am, usually sucking back my first red bull of the day as I open the front doors.

By 7:15am, I've seasoned my machine, sorted my grind and as the even flowrate of 9 Atmospheric bars of pressure work their way through the first of four 18gram doses, I watch the extractions drip..drip..drip then gently drop like mousetails into my ceramic demitasse cups, releasing their flavours and oils with the crema steadily building a familiar figure 8 strange attractor pattern through the chaotic turbulence of the viscous fluid.

7:30am and so far I've had at least or for the most part anywhere from 2-6 short shots of coffee, a red bull (or two), the better part of 1 litre of water and I'm finally ready to open the doors.

Thoughout the day, I generally sample extractions between grind changes to maintain extraction quality control and keep within 'the zone', so on an average day it's not uncommon for me to consume anywhere between 5-12 double shots over a 9 hour period. That's not inclusive of energy drinks or the times when I actually feel like a coffee.

And yes, because you must be wondering, I do quite frequently overdose.
Giddiness, headaches, sweats, heart palpitations, tunnel vision, fleeting speech patterns, concentration, short and long term memory problems, mole people visitations and psyhic apocalyptic visions - are just some of the things I try not to think about while I 'ride that twisting dragon out'.
Links and thanks go out to Too Much Coffee Man & Espresso Porn

[Technorati][Coffee],[Caffine Addiction],[Barista],[Over Dose]

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Midweek at the watering hole.

Here's a dark video of a Russian Candid Camera prank gone horribily wrong. The surprise ending promises to shock, certainly made me laugh, but then I embrace the darkside.

Also any cat loving readers may wish to consider the 'Tabby Tote' the newest feline transportation system that's currently making the rounds. (It's no 'Bonsai kittens' but it's a start).

By Erueti Brown with No comments

On his way to St. Ives?

Louis Wain was born in London’s Clerkenwell district in 1860 and eventually became an artist, selling his sketches of dog shows to the Illustrated Sporting News. He married his youngest sister's governess, Emily Richardson, which was considered quite scandalous at the time. His wife contracted breast cancer and died three years later. To entertain her on her sickbed, Wain started drawing their cat, Peter. Emily encouraged him to send these drawings to newspapers and magazines, and soon the Louis Wain cat was a household name, not only in Britain but also in America, where his comics and drawings of cats appeared in several newspapers. Louis Wain was elected as President of the National Cat Club and wrote the book 'In Animal Land with Louis Wain' in 1904. Wain continued drawing cats for newspapers and children’s books until he fell victim to schizophrenia in 1917 at the age of 57. Coupled with WWI and the public dwindling interest it cats, Wain soon fell into poverty and in 1924 was certified “insane” and committed to the pauper’s wing of a mental hospital in Tooting, England. Years later a foundation was set up for him by his peers (including the famous H.G. Wells) which enabled Wain to spend the last years of his life in comfort in private asylums in Southwark and Napsbury, where he continued to paint and draw his cats. Wain allows us a unique insight into the delusions and course of illness in a late onset schizophrenic.

Wain’s early work, while strange to some, is dominated by fanciful imagery of cats dressed in human clothes or engaged in human activity. Considering that much of his work was political cartooning and illustrating for children’s books, the early work seems an adequate representation of his pre-schizophrenic period.

During the onset of his disease at 57, Wain continued to paint, draw and sketch cats, but the focus changed from fanciful situations, to focus on the cats themselves.

Characteristic changes in the art began to occur, changes common to schizophrenic artists. Jagged lines of bright color began emanating from his feline subjects. The outlines of the cats became sever and spiky, and their outlines persisted well throughout the sketches, as if they were throwing off energy.

Soon the cats became abstracted, seeming now to be made up of hundreds of small repetitive shapes, coming together in a clashing jangles of color that transform the cat into something resembling an Eastern diety.

The abstraction continued, the cats now being seen as made up by small repeating patterns, almost fractal in nature.

Until finally they ceased to resemble cats at all, and became the ultimate abstraction, an indistinct form made up by near symmetrical repeating patterns.

Wain, like many late onset schizophrenics, never recovered from his illness. Because of the invention and increase in availability of medications effective in treating schizophrenia, the prognosis for someone diagnosed with the disorder today is much better than the one for Wain, who had been diagnosed in 1917. There is no yet known cause for the late onset in this type of schizophrenia, much like there is no known cause for the onset in the early type. Theories include much the same hypotheses as those for early onset, namely chemical imbalances and/or traumatic experience coupled with a genetic predisposition to the disorder.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Here's A Stupid way to Increase your Blog Traffic.

I been wrestling with the consequences and I figure I deserve being baked under the spotlight of the NSA and their Eschelon Project and whatever other trolls this post will no doubt trawl for even considering posting this, but here goes.
(I'll even help you guys out by highlighting the keywords you'll be looking for)

It occurred to me yesterday while filling the car up with petrol, that if I was a Domestic Terrorist/Suicide Bomber who hated the American presence in the Middle East solely for the expressed interest in the control over the flow of Oil, how easy and more terrifying would it be if I just blew myself up at the petrol station instead of some random bus or street corner? Now I guess we'll all be paranoid (and vigilant) because as a byproduct of our convenient/instant gratification culture, gas stations are f--ken everywhere.

Another thing I've been wondering about is if I hated the hipocrisy of everything the American Infidels stand for wouldn't celebrites make for an easy obvious target?
Just imagine how really annoying the Paparazzi would be if some of them had bombs strapped to their chests.

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Wood is the new black.

Well my weekend is almost over which is a shame but I feel optimistic about the coming week.

Yesterday was a gorgeous clear day so we packed up our kit and went for a leisurely drive around the bays, on the lurk for some decent fish 'n chips.
As we veered around a corner, I was awestruck by the finest example of customised wooden bling and pimped out craftmanship I have ever seen (okay I'm stretching it a wee bit but it was interesting none-the-less) and naturally I was all over it - (Readers of an earlier post would know I have a thing for wood and have even managed to have my submission for "good as wood" accepted in 'The Urban Dictionary').

Here are some photograph's, which regrettably do no justice to what can only be described as a labour of love, a triumph of dedication and a testimony to man's unquestionable domination over the wood world ...


*UPDATE* How easily impressed and whakama (ashamed) am I after laying down phat tautoko (props) and not caring to mention our proud Maori heritage of wood carving and Marae Craftmanship? - Special thanks go out to the crew for the heads up and for dropping true school science on my dopey indigenous ass.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Are you in my pocket like so many nickles and dimes?

I've stolen this idea from friend of mine (Glenn who is a 'Ginger Kid', but we're not holding that against him right now) he first told me this idea 3 or 4 years ago and much like trepanning I've toiled over having it done ever since.
I've approached several plastic surgeons both here and abroad but I am yet to receive any positive news and I guess I'm asking for some assistance from any readers out there who might be in a position to help me in my quest and therefore put this matter to rest. Here's the email.

Hello Dr. Calcinai

My serious enquiry is whether it would be possible via plastic surgery to attach a pocket/pouch to my abdomen similar to one commonly found on a hooded sweatshirt?
If a pocket like this is not possible, in your opinion could you recommend any dimensions for a similar fully functional pocket? Even if it was only big enough to hold a few small items such as car keys, wallet and credit cards.
Finally what is your realistic expectation for the total costing of undergoing such a procedure?
Thank you very much for taking the time to consider the enquiry, I eagerly look forward to your reply.

Kind regards,
Erueti Brown.

From the dozens of emails I have sent, I've currently only received one response that I'll post here.

From: Wellington Plastic Surgery Institute
To: Erueti Brown
Re: Serious Enquiry

Dear Erueti
Unfortunately this is not possible.
Regards Judith

Now is it just me, or does this seem like a cop out? Surely if they can reconstruct the face of a woman burnt in a house fire, or build a vagina for a man to make him feel more complete, the only issue with slapping a pocket on me would be "is that with or without a button or zipper seal?"
Thusly here in lies the challenge. Are there any surgeons who currently do or would do the said cosmetic modification and if so, for how much?

[Human Pocket],[Body Modification],[Glenn]

By Erueti Brown with 3 comments

11:11 the magic posting hour.

I'm pretty useless this week. I've left it all too late and now I'm both stuck and out of time for an idea to suddenly surface for today's daily post. I guess while I await an epiphany, you could attempt 'Einsteins maze', probably the hardest maze I've ever come across and after more than a year, I am still yet to solve it. So good luck.


Oh BTW 2 more things.

I was over at datapimp yesterday and 'Pimped out my web address'. It's really just a redirector, but I've noticed a few regular readers find their way here via a google search for 'Eru+Brown'.
So now I've fixed it so also have the option of reaching 'Eru's LifeCache' through these url's also:

• erus.fucksicle.com
• erueti.datapimp.org
• erubrown.assdog.com

Secondly, while I'm on the subject of how people end up on my blog, someone recently found their way in via a google seach for "Anus + protruding Snakes". I have your ISP number you perverted little worm.

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Bah. Where is the Love?

I'm a fairly upbeat type of guy most of the time but this weeks been a real Goatse.
Maybe it's a combination of the almost constant in your face torrential rain we've been experiencing and chilling screeching wind hardup against the backdrop of the bleak grey city, but I'm feeling drained from the constant need to "be on" and I'm not exactly feeling the love right now.
Tomorrows Friday and I can't wait to shake this week off and recharge this semi unified collection of cells crammed together like Voltron (some of their dials are so deep in the red that they look green again)

Anyhows I'm off to bed. Gotta getup again at 5:30am. Can't wait for this weather to finally break and take a more agreeable turn.
Until then I'm reminding myself of the old Arab saying that "All Sunshine makes for the Desert".

By Erueti Brown with No comments

By George by Crumb!

A little bit of culture shall we?
I have to admit I've only recently been switched onto him, but how amazing is George Crumb?
Not to be confused with another visionary with a very similar name George Crum (the inventor of potato chip), Crumb is an American composer of modern and avant garde music. Born October 24, 1929, (the same day as the infamous great Crash on Wall Street), Crumb is known for his "unusual and hauntingly evocative timbres and for incorporating mysterious voices and sounds of unconventional instruments into his works," and for his innovative use of theatrical techniques in chamber music. Examples include spoken flute (one speaks while blowing into the instrument) and glass marbles poured onto an open piano. He has also used unusual layouts of musical notation in a number of his scores. In several pieces, his complex music is symbolically laid out in a beautiful circular or spiral fashion. I'm impressed!

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Donna Huata can taste my sacks.

This one's for you Donna Awatere Huata. It's too bad your vision and passion to set up a 4 minute reading programme to teach young Maori to read wasn't as driven as your passion for dipping into the kitty now and then eh girl? Which is a shame because outside of that brilliant 4 minutes a day reading programme, you had your fingers in quite afew other tasty pies didn't you? Thanks again for the opportunity to dress up and prance around in Versace at Parliament for the day (I can't believe you asked security to not to admit the models who stayed behind to clean up to your little fahionista afterparty Donna! ) and may I say that this certificate you presented to me afterward is exactly the kind of thing employers look for in a resume when hiring Maori. Well done.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

WWJD? Which Would Jesus Do?

Well it's late, it's a Monday and I'm more than a little drunk right now (After a small rinseout with cousin 'middle T' chairman Pickles) So this image will have to suffice as a post (comments welcomed) Or if that fails to wet your appetite, perhaps this image of a deep fried quarter pounder will (with double battered french fries I believe) ...

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

So much meat for so little money.

In the wee small hours of a Saturday morning way back in 2002, I was off my face and just happened to stagger into a queue at Burger King for a bit of quick drunken nosh on the way home. I remember peering at the menu boards and then at the young man behind the counter and noticed he kept smiling at me, then his eyes would immediately dart down towards the counter display directly in front and between us. He kept looking at me square in the eye, then smiling then his eyes kept returning to the display board and repeating the whole process again. I was drunk but I could tell something was happening here. Was he trying to send me a message? Were his glances a warning perhaps? Some sort of inside tip? I couldn't be sure so I took a good look at the display board. Here's what I saw.



Okay so what? He's waiting for me to order and I rattle off something "Blah blah.. Onion rings..blah blah Double Whopper.. ra ra Pepsi" or something like that, when he looks at me again in the eye then again to the display sign, reads back the order and keen as a bean belts out "I'll get that for you immediately Sir!"checks the sign again and takes off like a cut cat. Meanwhile, I'm left standing there swaying to and fro, trying to work out WTF this sign business is all about when the mischievous god of drunken logic provides me with a solution. For ridiculous reasons, I reach over and grab the display sign and quickly tuck it down my trousers all before the young man comes back with my order. He never mentioned anything (but I knew he knew) as I grabbed my food and hastily made for the door. Pepped up, I ran all the way home and forgot about the entire incident by the time I opened the front door and crashed out (never even eating my Burger King) When I woke up in the morning I remembered the stupid drunken antic I had done and pulled the sign out of my jeans I'd left scattered in the middle of the floor.

I looked again at my stolen trophy in shame, but this time from the other side (his side) of the display sign and I could feel pride swelling as a smile crept across my face and it suddenly all made sense. I had to laugh at what I saw there.



I know - what a score!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Tigers Are Every Where.

Tigers are Everywhere.
In the trees and on the ground,
Tigers can be found.

But when Tigers sleep.
It's best to crawl and creep,
around the Jungle,
Whilst it's dark.

It began as in inside joke, but now I would imagine that there is only one reader who would truly fully appreciate the above poem of mine.
Today I received this very impressive piece of congratulations mail, expressing that out of thousands of entries,"Tigers are Everywhere" has been accepted and is scheduled for publication in a coffee table publication called 'Immortal Verses' which is due to be released this Summer 2006. So f--kedup!
I may also win the $10,000 US dollars annual prize for this apparently brilliant poem.

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

Get Your Canned Pork Brains in Milk Gravy On!

Wow, count me in. But remember before you reach for that second can, it's worth taking special note of the cholesterol rating. *The recommended daily intake (RDI) of Cholesterol is 300 mg.
(via neatorama)
Here's a sideline idea. What about pork bones and puha in a can? I'd buy one.

[Technorati][Pork Brains]

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Space Ramp.

Recently I've been the cause of a number of heated arguments lately in the Yahoo Chat Science rooms. I've been flamed, booted, threatened, called an Idiot and a Troll and why?
Well it's because of a space ramp.
Now I've been aware of the brilliant space elevator project for some time, but I've been wondering for a number of years whether in theory a space ramp could be constructed that you could walk up, hop off it' at the end and into a near weightless orbit in outer-space. What if you had a little jet pack on, would that help you? Would the pull from the earths gravity still be just as strong as if you were still on the ground? Or would you, because of earths escape velocity, simply drop like a rock no matter how far the ramp extended into space? That in essence is my question I put forward to you.
I know it's got to be a very VERY big ramp I'm talking about here, the biggest object ever created by human hands and so naturally that presents us with some unique obstacles.

• Materials: What to build a giant space ramp with. Key issues here are Strength, Weight, Cost and Labour.
• Location: Where would you build this immense structure in the first place? It's quite possible that the foundations alone for a ramp on this kind of colossal scale might require an area the size of Eurasia or even larger. And unless there was a donor continent an artificial one might need to be created also.
  
• Cost: How much would the big ramp cost? That should also include the obvious environmental costs. Depending the materials used, I imagine a giant space ramp reaching out into space would probably cast a significantly large shadow over the earth. (A lot like a sundial)
• Physics: (which is where the heart of the argument lies) How far into space 200 miles? 4000? I don't know? Also the gradient of the ramp itself. Less angle means a gentler slope but of course that means more material, in fact more of everything.

So there are just some of the factors I've considered. I've also emailed a few 'experts' (NASA QUEST, Ask an Astrophysicist, ASK YAHOO and asked them their opinion on the matter.
I hope someone gets back with an answer a layperson such as myself can comprehend and accept. I'll keep you posted.

[Technorati][Space Ramp]

By Erueti Brown with 2 comments

Are You a Redneck Fundy?

Small one today 'cos I am totally werked' over.
I recently stumbled over the 'Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian list'.
Some of my favourites ... (thanks craigslist)

• You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
• You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
• While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
• Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

Anyhows *yawn, I gotta haul this tired body tube of mine up the stairs and grab some kip.
Night night.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Home Star Running..Oh well...Last again.

Drat. Once again, after the meme-nappers have fed. I actually feel dumber for it, but I love HomeStarunner.
It's the sh-t!(Link)

Oooh, and mikons is 'double plus good' too.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Life in Beta.

Here are some more wonderfully inventive examples of just how very clever and evolved we are now that we have embedded our busy lives with all this much needed technology and associated paraphernalia. With your tech scarf or hoodie, you'll be looking so dapper, sleek and futuristic. Just imagine how streamlined you'll feel when some 'up-to-no-goodnik' kindly relieves you of your precious kit via a sharp blow about your unaware head.
(Link thanks WMMNA)

Here's another triumph for humanity.


[Technorati][Tech Addict Scarf]
[God loves his random mutant monkeys]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Schrodinger's mouse trap.

A few months back we discovered we have mice living under our house and from time to time the occasional Aeon Flux type rodent somehow manages to bypass and allude the gambit that is our "Robotic laser, pressure sensor SOTA megamouse security system series IV (beta)".
Which sounds really flash but is really just a matter of making sure the hotwater cupboard door remains shut.

Which means that with the onset of winter and finding a mouse recently in our 'better mouse trap', (which seems to be the new standard for mouse dispatching) it's my 1st job in the morning to go downstairs and inspect said trap and either dispose of any unlucky vermin/and or reapply my winning combination bait, (6 mice thus far) which is a small square of colby cheese smeared with a liberal amount of marmite.

It occurred to me today as I was about to open the hot watercupboard door and thereby discover what lay behind it, that the situation was much like the famous paradoxical Schrodinger's cat thought experiment.
Until I open the door, assess the situation and thereby confirm a valid intelligent observation, behind the door a very messy quantum scenario is being played out for 'our mouse'.
Perhaps until the probability wave can be allowed to collaspe into a single state and spread out in all directions, the mouse, like the cat, is existing in a quantum state being both in the trap and not in the trap at the same instant. With that in mind I opened the hotwater cupboard door half expecting to catch the universe out and perhaps share in some great cosmic joke.

So what was it? Half live half dead mouse? Some kind of trap wormhole space vortex, or miniature elephants wearing sunglasses with butter on their feet?
No, sadly none of the above. No mouse either dead or alive. The trap was still exactly where I had set it 'suspiously undisturbed' (LOL) bait intact.

What presented itself was an outcome I hadn't anticipated.
A giant pile of mouse sh-it.

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Someone 2.0

• Someone needs to create an applet that does not allow a new visitor access to a Maori content site without an ePorwhiri.
• Someone needs to design and synergise USB/WiFi sex toys with some sort of P2P network, for more organic meaningful cybersex.
• Someone needs to patent a portable external womb, with an artificial umbilical cord, rejunvenating nutrient cell pack and double ended gene specific socket that, once fitted either parent could plug into.
• Someone needs to create a nonlarm clock, for session specific designer sleep programs, utilizing self hypnosis, EEG brainwave modulation and personal affirmation.
• Someone needed to comeup with something really fast for their daily post to 'Eru's LifeCache' today.

[Technorati][someone],[Random ideas]

By Erueti Brown with 3 comments

Ambergris: Floating Gold.

With our so called intelligent human minds tucked away safely inside our fleshy mammalian skin sacks, we consider ourselves to be the most sentient lifeform on the planet, and yet some of us 'smarties' are willing to pay large sums of moola for whale vomit.
Ambergris is both fascinating and lucrative with New Zealand waters and beaches ranked high amongst the top hotspots in the world for finding this elusive 'floating gold'.
With all the storms and swells recently, I'd feel more queasy than usual if I were a sperm whale, so I'm off fossicking. Imagine farming the stuff? (Link)

[Technorati][Ambergris],[Whale Vomit]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Mmmm...this coffee tastes like sh-t!

I can just imagine the chic hipster Java-heads in the village cooly lining up to pay an unbelievable $75 US dollars for a quarter pound of marsupial scat to knock back probably with a nice biscotti or florintine.

Here's a quick intro followed by a link if you're interested in learning more.

The Luwak (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus) denizen of the coffee (kopi) plantations of Java, Sumatra, and Sulawesi, eats only the ripest coffee cherries.

Unable to digest the coffee beans, the Luwak graciously deposits them on the jungle floor where they are eagerly collected by the locals.

The stomach acids and enzymatic action involved in this unique fermentation process produces the beans for the world’s rarest coffee beverage. Mmmm!
(Link)

[Technorati][Kopi Luwak],[Coffee]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

The Winter Solstice has arrived in New Zealand.

Brrr! It's currently 9 degrees Celsius (48 degrees Fahrenheit) outside, pitch black, with the howling wind and rain driving hard against my straining windows. But I'm happy. Because tonight at 00:26; the Sun is at its most Northerly point in the sky and at the middle of the day on June 22, it reaches its lowest altitude, from the Northern horizon. Making tonight dear readers, the longest night of the year, followed by the shortest day and we are inching our way back to Summer!

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Solid Potato Salad.

I mean honestly, it's 1944, what the f--k is this? The 1st minute is nothing special but by the end you'll be wishing you had these grannys 7 d's.
(Grr recently pulled from YouTube, so thanks Metacafe)
*Update if you can't view the clip because of plugin problems try here from the horses mouth.


[Technorati][Solid Potato Salad],[Ross Sisters],[Contorsion]

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Save the Tree Octopus.

The Pacific Northwest tree octopus (Octopus paxarbolis) can be found in the temperate rainforests of the Olympic Peninsula on the west coast of North America. Their habitat lies on the Eastern side of the Olympic mountain range, adjacent to Hood Canal. These solitary cephalopods reach an average size (measured from arm-tip to mantle-tip,) of 30-33 cm. Unlike most other cephalopods, tree octopuses are amphibious, spending only their early life and the period of their mating season in their ancestral aquatic environment. Because of the moistness of the rainforests and specialized skin adaptations, they are able to keep from becoming desiccated for prolonged periods of time, but given the chance they would prefer resting in pooled water.

[Technorati][Tree Octopus]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

The Sounds of Silence.

Cell phones are a new technology for me. Embarrassingly I've (reluctantly) just brought my 1st one and I have to admit as far as cell phones go, it seems I'm in the slow lane right now.
Everywhere I look I see teens with customised bling cell faceplates, cameras/video snapping, p2p mp3 file sharing, mmprpg gaming and walkie talkie capability. These teens will never know a time before the existence of the internet and therefore are quick to embrace, absorb and find new applications in their lives for faster and better modes of communication.

It's no wonder then that the ultrasonic teenager repellent (or The Mosquito) - A high tech device that emits an oscillating ear-splitting 17-kilohertz frequency only teenagers can hear, originally designed to disperse young people loitering in front of their stores while leaving adults unaffected - Has been absorbed, hacked and remixed as a tool 'for' teenagers as a ringtone on their cells only they can hear, so they can receive text messaging and phones calls in class without any adult teacher being aware. Another example of bleeding edge technology and the insight of youth culture and the application of some pretty amazing lateral problem solving.
Gotta give 'em credit. (Link)

While I'm on the topic of new tech, you gotta see this video of the incredible I/O Brush it's totally amazing.

[Technorati][TeenBuzz],[Mosquito],[Techno-savvy]

By Erueti Brown with 1 comment

Exactly how far south does the no. 12 South Karori bus go?

Our bus ride home was crazy. 1stly the bus driver refused to stop at the bus stop to pick us up and only stopped because the lights changed red.
As luck would have it, we sat near the backdoor but Sue changed sides opting to sit in front of me instead of across and having to talk through people once it filled up.

The somewhat erratic bus driver was traveling faster than he should have been in the peak hour conditions and didn't seem to be in complete control of his vehicle as he weaved in and around other buses when !wham. He turned too sharply passed another bus and their side mirror came crashing through the side window of our bus, showering the two occupants of the seats we would have sat on in glass shards and leaving the lady closest to the window shimmering and glittering like she was about to accept an Oscar for the category 'best supporting actress in a bus accident'. Sue and I, as compassionate types, slapped a well deserved a high 5 thankful it wasn't us and then quickly asked the lady (who was definitely in shock) if she was hurt at all.
The bus driver, (perhaps not as compassionate) did not ask if anyone was hurt back there, and instead cooly ushered even more passengers on until the bus was completely packed with new passengers and glass everywhere.
Then, to the surprise of passengers wanting to get off at the next stop (which was most of the us), he just decided to drive the bus nonstop off it's route and when we finally stopped he barked at us to transfer to the bus in front. The ladies frosted in glass were never offered either an explanation, medical attention, an apology or even priority for the 1st seats on the transfer bus to at least lessen their discomfort (she told us that she felt like she had been dancing with PinkBats).
No they had to line up like the rest of us. Baaa!

I'm sure quite a number of passengers have complained about this situation, however I'm hoping to snaffle a photograph of him next time I see him and post it right here, wouldn't that be nice?

[Technorati][Karori],[StageCoach]

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Untitled, or maybe, "Weird Aztec Sh-t".

So after my little spiel a few posts back, I guess we flaked out and buckled by upgrading our broadband plan this week.
I wouldn't recommend this link for anyone on dialup.
But yeah, the benditonontze flash animation is pretty f--ken weird sh-t.

Oh BTW you still lineup to suck old hobos and drink urine in an alleyway Teresa Gattung, I haven't forgotten about you. :-P

[Technorati]benditonontze

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Dr. StrangePost or how I learned to stop worrying and learned to love the atomic blog.

Sometimes I, like most of people from time to time, find this whole blogging epidemic pandemic a grinding bitch.
I won't dwell on the point, but now that I'm working full time, I wonder how the 'great ones' out there constantly pull it out every day. That's dedication man. That's Stamina. That's madd as love for your peeps, and much like the greedy wank, (you know, the lazy one you bang out after the good one, when a whole new set of unseen porn galleries in your favourite genre suddenly appears), I'm inspired!

After a painful template redesign and several go-nowhere ideas, I've decided to settle for a simple enough goal and I'd like to make the following promise to any and all readers past current and future of 'Eru's LifeCache'.
I Erueti Brown, will henceforth endeavor to post something to 'Eru's LifeCache' (worthwhile or not) on a daily basis (probably evening NZ time so that's +12hrs for most of you).

So there you have it. See you tomorrow.

[Technorati]Daily,Eru's LifeCache

By Erueti Brown with No comments

'URBAN MOVEMENT' Clip PT 1.

I figure after a teasing you months back about the 'UrbanMovement' crew, it's finally time to drop some CapCity NZ hiphop on you all. For obvious reasons I make no apologies for sound quality, but if you like what your hearing, why not purchase a copy of their CD for yourself?

[Technorati]NZMUSIC,Urban Movement

By Erueti Brown with No comments

'URBAN MOVEMENT' Clip PT 2.

Another wee gem as the boys once again throw it down for the Well-ing-town.

[Technorati]NZMUSIC,Urban Movement

By Erueti Brown with No comments

PoMo life is Rubbish.

They're right though, this Post Modern life IS rubbish. I'm quite fond of "Ceci nest pas une intellectual" - But that's probably only because I'm such a tosser.

[Technorati]Post Modern,Comic Strip

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Shame on you Telecom!

Shame shame know your name!

There's a Telecom Xtra Broadband advert playing in the background announcing the good news,
"Cheaper, faster broadband has finally arrived!"

What a load of saggy-old-lady-bitch-titties.

That's right Teresa Gattung, you suck.
I've got beef with you saying that I'm going to be paying less for faster broadband when you know damn well that's nothing but a sour floppy cock in the mouth.

After looking at how much we are paying for one lousy gigabyte at up to 50x faster than dialup, we thought we'd ring up and take advantage of your faster, cheaper offer. Turns out after talking with an Xtra operator the only broadband plans on offer are the same old pay more for more plans or the pay less for less. Let me explain that. We currently pay $39.95 for 1GB per month up to 50x faster. For $10 more we could experience 5GB per month @ 80x faster than dial-up. $10 less and we're on the 200MB per month @ up to 6x faster than dialup plan. 200mb for $29.95 at 6x WTF use is that? What a joke.
Sue outright questioned the Xtra operator, "So then.. There is no faster, cheaper Broadband?"
He scoffed and replied "Ahh...No."

Stop your lying Telecom or at least start telling the whole truth you toerags.

[Technorati]Telecom,Xtra,Broadband

By Erueti Brown with No comments

06/06/06 Am I 1st?

Seeing as New Zealand is technically one of the 1st countries to greet the new day, I'm hoping my keen effort to get up early will put me at least amongst in the first 100 people to post about todays most popular topic! I hope blogger timestamp for posting is set to my computer clock then I'll be pretty close to 06/06/06 and six seconds.

*update* Grrr, damn blogger clock was three minutes early.

[Technorati]06/06/06

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Web 2.0 and Beyond.

Web 2.0. Love it or hate it, the buzz term is on fire and has become the unspoken compliance standard against which any website or company is judged when trying to look cutting edge or pioneering in their field.
But what is it and more importantly 'what good is any of it?'.
Clean neutral space column designed boxes with rounded edges, backgrounds with subtle Pastel gradients applied, beta/gamma/delta testings are all very pretty, but big f--ken ti--ies right? What's the point at the end of the day?
Well ultimately, it's about three things Choice, Community and Content.
Everything is changing because we are choosing to change it. Through our experiences, our opinions and our social networks-it's our stories that truly dictate, govern and shape innovation. We don't require brands anymore, we self brand. We filter our own media and spam ourselves. For the 1st time in history absolutely anyone can have their 15 gigs of fame on a platform of their choosing. For once we decide what's important, because We are Generation C and we don't need you anymore.

The following products and services are a good example of what to keep an eye out for on the web 2.0 horizon and are plucked from the definitive 277 resources on 'Complete List of Web 2.0 Products and Services' available at listable.

Last.fm

A music engine based on a massive collection of Music Profiles. Each music profile belongs to one person, and describes their taste in music. Last.fm uses these music profiles to make personalized recommendations, match you up with people who like similar music, and generate custom radio stations for each person.

43 Things

You can write down your goals; See how're other achieved the similar goals; and you can share your experience and progress with other which you both want to do.

Picture Cloud

A picture cloud is the easiest way to make a photo come to life. By using a picture cloud you can turn still photos into images that spin 360° by uploading images you take around an object with your digital camera. Whether it's houses, cars, toys, or pets, picture clouds are easy to create and can be used anywhere. Picture clouds are helping give depth to the web, and best of all - picture clouds are free.

Popurls

Popular URLS to the latest Web Buzz - very nice update site for all the usual Web 2.0 lovliness - ie digg, reddit, flickr etc etc etc

Karmadu

Karmadu allows you to give “karma points” as thanks for good things that others do for you in the real world. For example I can see how my karma score compares to others at school, to people who like the same movies, who live in the same area…anything you want. You can ‘jump on’ karma (vote for the best karma) and see which actions are the most karma-worthy. You can send points and check your profile over the web or by using text messaging from your cell phone. You can join by clicking “join” on the top menu.

fo.rtuito.us

What would happen if we no longer used things like looks, age, sex and nationality to decide if we would try and become friends with a person?

Protopage

Protopage = personalized news + sticky notes + weather + bookmarks, all on one page.

Create your own free Protopage, then:

* Use it to catch up with news from hundreds of sources
* Put color coded sticky notes, todo lists and reminders on it
* Keep your frequently accessed bookmarks on it
* Name it (e.g. as www.protopage.com/yourname)
* Share parts of your page with friends, or keep it private
* Set it as your browser 'start page' for easy access

Squidoo

"Create a single web page filled with information and links that point to other web pages, to continually updated RSS feeds, or to relevant advertising."

*Special mention update.
After poking around looking for a way to add a chat service to Eru's LifeCache,
I stumbled over gabbly.com. Just type or paste http://gabbly.com/ before any URL and you will be able to chat with anyone visiting that page at the same time.
Try it out here http://gabbly.com/http://eruslife.blogspot.com/

[Technorati]Web 2.0,Generation C,Listable,Last.FM,43 Things,Picture Clouds,PopURLs,Karmadu,fo.rtuito.us,Protopage,Squidoo,Gabbly

By Erueti Brown with No comments

Yo' Gabba Gabba.

I don't know when the newest kid's show 'Yo Gabba Gabba' will actually air, but judging from the dope trailers and image galleries on their site it slays anything 'The Magic Roundabout' or 'Rainbow' came out with. With special guest appearances from Julius the monkey from Paul Frank Industries and Biz Markie I'm so jealous.

[Technorati]Yo Gabba Gabba

By Erueti Brown with No comments